1 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:57,847 Hey, Timmy, get me a hot dog. 2 00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:21,105 Hey, Dave. I like your Dukes of Hazzard T-shirt. 3 00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,648 Well, thanks, Sara. I like your CHiPs T-shirt. 4 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:26,082 - Thanks. - Fun party, huh? 5 00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,813 Yeah. Except for Arnie Shankman being here. 6 00:01:28,989 --> 00:01:32,152 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 7 00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:36,021 I feel bad for him with his sister losing her mind and all. 8 00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,425 Whatever. 9 00:01:41,001 --> 00:01:43,765 You know what we should do? Play Truth or Dare. 10 00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,336 - You want to? - Sure. 11 00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:49,271 Okay, I'll go first. Truth or dare? 12 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:50,810 Truth. 13 00:01:51,512 --> 00:01:53,275 Have you ever kissed a girl before? 14 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:55,039 - Well, I... - Family doesn't count. 15 00:01:56,250 --> 00:01:59,185 - Maybe I'll take dare. - Okay. 16 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,351 I dare you to kiss me. 17 00:02:02,423 --> 00:02:03,515 Right here? 18 00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:07,491 Yeah. I want everyone to see that your first kiss is with me. 19 00:02:33,888 --> 00:02:37,187 Got any mustard for that cocktail frank, butt-lick? 20 00:02:48,903 --> 00:02:51,428 - David Buznik. - I just landed in St. Louis. 21 00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:55,132 - I hope you wrote my speech. - I did, sir. I pulled an all nighter. 22 00:02:55,409 --> 00:02:58,310 I look forward to this, Mr. Head. Never been to St. Louis. 23 00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:01,242 Thank you for allowing me to come on this trip... 24 00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,542 Yeah. Yeah. Okay, that sounds great. 25 00:03:05,719 --> 00:03:08,483 If we finish our work, I'd love to go to a jazz club. 26 00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:09,656 Terrific. 27 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,917 - He hung up on you again, didn't he? - Yes. Yes, he did. 28 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,755 He's a jerk. You came up with the idea for the Husky Cat clothing line. 29 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:19,729 He didn't say thank you. He should give you a promotion. 30 00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:22,926 There's a creative executive position that just opened up, so.... 31 00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:26,266 Bring that up on the trip. You gotta stick up for yourself. 32 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:28,567 I know. I'll figure something out. 33 00:03:29,243 --> 00:03:31,871 I gotta go. Sorry. 34 00:03:32,046 --> 00:03:34,947 I'm gonna miss you. 35 00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,779 That guy's looking at us. 36 00:03:37,952 --> 00:03:40,614 You know I don't like it when people watch me kiss. 37 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:41,914 I'm sorry. 38 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,452 Take care. 39 00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:47,653 Okay. Bye. 40 00:03:49,463 --> 00:03:50,463 Dave.... 41 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,800 - Have a good flight. - Okay. 42 00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:04,803 I'm sorry. 43 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,987 I think you're in my seat. 44 00:04:15,823 --> 00:04:19,486 Come on, pal. I'm already settled in here. Can't you sit somewhere else? 45 00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:22,921 You're supposed to sit in the seat they assigned you. 46 00:04:23,097 --> 00:04:26,066 Nobody cares. Just sit in the seat I'm supposed to sit in. 47 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,861 Excuse me. This seat's available. 48 00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,433 Okay. Thank you. 49 00:04:38,712 --> 00:04:40,202 You're very welcome. 50 00:04:43,550 --> 00:04:44,812 No air. 51 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,376 That's too bad, huh? 52 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,063 You're on my side of the armrest. 53 00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:03,396 We're not gonna have problems, are we? 54 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,071 No. 55 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:40,106 I'm wetting my Jockeys here. 56 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:49,172 You gotta get a load of this, keed. 57 00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:51,181 I mean, you like comedies? 58 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:55,755 I just haven't been sleeping a lot lately so I was trying to catch some.... 59 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,588 Look at this actress here. 60 00:06:05,599 --> 00:06:09,433 What is your position on breast implants? 61 00:06:11,305 --> 00:06:12,305 This guy. 62 00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,998 I can just watch the movie with you. 63 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,143 Excuse me. 64 00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:19,506 - Could I get a headset? - Certainly. 65 00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:20,905 Thank you. 66 00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,386 Probably make out with my next boyfriend. 67 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,889 Oh, my God, it was disgusting. 68 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,119 Miss? 69 00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,361 I'll be right there, sir. 70 00:06:39,700 --> 00:06:41,258 Where's your headset? 71 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,803 She's busy right now, but it's coming. 72 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:49,705 For crying out loud. You're missing important plot points. 73 00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,240 Ma'am? 74 00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:56,506 Could you give me a second, sir? 75 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,221 Excuse me. 76 00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,756 Could I maybe get that headset, please? 77 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:14,526 - Do not raise your voice to me, sir. - I wasn't raising my voice. 78 00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:15,759 Just calm down. 79 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,801 I am calm. I just want my headset. 80 00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,599 Our country is going through a difficult time now. 81 00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,298 If you won't cooperate... 82 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,535 I don't know where a headset ties into patriotism. 83 00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:27,736 Is there a problem here, sir? 84 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:29,976 I don't think so. 85 00:07:30,150 --> 00:07:33,119 Can you come to the back with me so we can have a talk? 86 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,380 A talk about what? There's not a problem. 87 00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,184 - The stewardess just keeps... - Flight attendant. 88 00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,756 The flight attendant keeps ignoring me when... 89 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:41,952 Calm down. 90 00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:44,097 I am calm. What is it with you people? 91 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,893 "You people"? 92 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:47,665 Now wait a minute. 93 00:07:47,835 --> 00:07:50,429 I don't mean you people. I mean you people. 94 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,437 I will not tolerate any racist behavior on the plane. 95 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,768 This is a difficult time for our country. 96 00:07:55,943 --> 00:07:58,605 I'm not a racist. I just want to watch the movie. 97 00:07:58,779 --> 00:08:02,374 I'm only going to say this one more time, sir. Calm down. 98 00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:03,607 I'm calm! 99 00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,591 All rise. 100 00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:18,761 - What do you think? - Not guilty. It's a no-brainer. 101 00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:25,428 Mr. Buznik. In case 723, assault and battery against a flight attendant... 102 00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:27,332 ...I find you guilty. 103 00:08:29,276 --> 00:08:33,007 I'm ordering you to pay a fine of $3500. 104 00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:34,340 Thank God you're okay. 105 00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:37,348 In addition, to prevent further acts of rage... 106 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:42,615 ...this court orders you to undergo 20 hours of anger management therapy. 107 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,449 Anger management? 108 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,637 Oh, my goodness. Bobby Knight. 109 00:08:59,973 --> 00:09:02,806 - You're in this group? - Oh, yeah. This is my first day. 110 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:06,434 - It's my first day also. - I hope this class cures me. 111 00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:08,274 Working on the anger problem? 112 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:11,682 Anger? Isn't this Sexaholics Anonymous? 113 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:16,078 No. I think that's down the hall. 114 00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:19,419 Well, the hell with this! I'm going home! 115 00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:44,111 Dr. Rydell? 116 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:48,714 You don't remember me, do you? 117 00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:54,388 - I sat next to you on the plane. - Oh, yeah, the headset guy. 118 00:09:55,128 --> 00:09:57,653 - Good to see you again. - Good to see you too. 119 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:59,059 That was a crazy flight. 120 00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:02,861 They actually sentenced me to anger management for that. 121 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:04,196 Really? 122 00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,871 Wow. 123 00:10:06,039 --> 00:10:08,564 This is incredible. You could sign this for me... 124 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:11,734 ...and tell them I don't have an anger problem if you want. 125 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,972 I can't just sign your papers. 126 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:18,344 I didn't do anything wrong. You know that. 127 00:10:20,087 --> 00:10:21,213 All right. 128 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:24,018 How's this? 129 00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:25,624 Just hang for one session... 130 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:29,387 ...so I can at least say I gave you a proper analysis. 131 00:10:29,563 --> 00:10:32,555 - Then I'll sign your papers. - Okay. 132 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,628 - Shall we? - Oh, yes. Yes. 133 00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:36,970 So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. 134 00:10:36,971 --> 00:10:40,770 So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I've taken. 135 00:10:40,941 --> 00:10:43,205 And I was like, you know, "Don't go there." 136 00:10:43,477 --> 00:10:47,140 But he kept on about wanting to see a doctor's note or something. 137 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:51,045 And I said, "Look, I'm seriously serious. You don't want to go there." 138 00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,651 But he kept talking and talking, being such a nag... 139 00:10:54,821 --> 00:10:57,221 ...and then I just blacked out. 140 00:10:57,391 --> 00:10:58,551 I blacked out. 141 00:10:58,725 --> 00:11:02,320 And when I woke up, I was standing over him and I was screaming: 142 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:07,229 "I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!" 143 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:11,367 How do you feel you handled that situation? 144 00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,264 Not as well as I could've. 145 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:19,708 Remember, Lou, temper's the one thing you can't get rid of by losing it. 146 00:11:22,215 --> 00:11:25,378 Now, Fury Fighters, let's say hello to someone... 147 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:29,716 ...who's joining our quest to get the anger monkeys off our backs: 148 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,983 - Dave. - Hi, Dave. 149 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:33,159 Hi. 150 00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:37,523 Good news, I fed my anger monkey a banana this morning... 151 00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:39,290 ...and he's feeling much better. 152 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,338 More good news, you won't have to listen to those lame jokes... 153 00:11:45,505 --> 00:11:47,530 ...because I'm only here for one session. 154 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:51,974 Dave assaulted a female flight attendant in midair. 155 00:11:52,746 --> 00:11:55,544 - Nice. - I bet you beat her good. 156 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:59,179 I didn't beat anybody. I touched a woman. 157 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,377 Liar. Bullshitter. You're a woman beater. 158 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:04,422 You can't admit it because you're a piece of garbage. 159 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:08,994 I don't know about all that, but now I understand why you're here. 160 00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:13,061 I'm here because I was verbally attacked by my neighbor. 161 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,701 And I took a dump on his porch. 162 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:19,630 I guess you're better than me. That's why you can't cop to your rage. 163 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:21,433 You're superior. He's superior. 164 00:12:21,608 --> 00:12:25,601 - Maybe Dave's not ready yet, Chuck. - You're not ready. Hear what he said? 165 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:28,280 Let's introduce Dave to some of the rest of us. 166 00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:31,281 Girls, why don't you tell Dave what brought you here. 167 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:35,251 I'm sure he'd love to listen to what you guys have to say. 168 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:36,855 We always do. 169 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:40,426 - Come on, Dave. Join us. - Okay. 170 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:46,360 Okay. Well, we're in the adult film industry. 171 00:12:46,533 --> 00:12:47,693 And we're lovers. 172 00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:50,837 One day, Gina was having sex with this Filipino guy Melo... 173 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:54,064 - ...which was cool, it was in the script. - Sure. 174 00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:56,732 And then I asked Melo back to the house with us... 175 00:12:56,910 --> 00:13:00,346 ...which is cool, because, well, we like a little variety. 176 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,237 Variety's good. 177 00:13:02,949 --> 00:13:05,042 So anyway, in the middle of our session... 178 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:08,187 ...I look up and I see Gina kissing Melo on the mouth... 179 00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,916 ...which is not cool because it violates our threesome code of ethics. 180 00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,424 - Stacy bit my toe off. - Then Melo freaks out... 181 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:18,128 - ...and calls me a crazy skank. - Nobody talks to my bitch that way. 182 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,493 - So I stapled his lips shut. - Here we are. 183 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,693 Well, we've all been there. 184 00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,940 - I like him. - Yeah, he's funny. 185 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,574 Not as funny as you. 186 00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,708 I like that. 187 00:13:36,783 --> 00:13:40,241 - All right, girls. - Let it go. Let it go a little bit longer. 188 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:41,720 Walk it off. 189 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:48,554 Nate. Didn't we decide that you shouldn't listen to the ball game? 190 00:13:48,762 --> 00:13:52,220 Don't worry, Dr. B, it's just a regular season game. Not important. 191 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,128 He missed the lay-up! 192 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,599 See? Iverson just missed a lay-up at the buzzer, Sixers lose. 193 00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,238 Who gives a crap, huh? 194 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,670 I mean, it's just a silly game, anyways. 195 00:14:06,413 --> 00:14:09,405 The anger sharks are swimming in my head. 196 00:14:09,816 --> 00:14:11,340 You gotta dunk that shit! 197 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,679 You gotta dunk that shit! 198 00:14:13,854 --> 00:14:15,719 Listen to me. Stay with me, Nate. 199 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,854 Now, repeat after me, Nate: 200 00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,254 Goosfraba. 201 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:22,292 Goos blah blah. 202 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,953 Not "blah blah," Nate. 203 00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,664 Goosfraba. 204 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,428 Goosfraba. 205 00:14:30,604 --> 00:14:32,333 That's good. Slower. 206 00:14:32,505 --> 00:14:36,236 Goosfraba. 207 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:37,569 How do you feel? 208 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,178 Better. 209 00:14:41,948 --> 00:14:43,438 Good job, Nate. 210 00:14:43,617 --> 00:14:46,279 That sound is a derivation of an old Eskimo word... 211 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:48,819 ...that mothers used to calm their children. 212 00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:51,048 - I see. - Eskimos seem nice. 213 00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:54,022 - They do. - I think Eskimos are smug. 214 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,627 Hold that thought, Chuck. 215 00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:57,821 So, Dave... 216 00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,831 ...tell us about yourself. 217 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Who are you? 218 00:15:01,468 --> 00:15:04,369 Well, I am an executive assistant... 219 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,869 ...at a major pet products company. 220 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:12,008 I don't want you to tell us what you do. I want you to tell us who you are. 221 00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,113 All right. 222 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,312 I'm a pretty good guy. 223 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,377 I like playing tennis on occasion.... 224 00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:23,817 Also, not your hobbies, Dave, just simple: 225 00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,514 Tell us who you are. 226 00:15:26,793 --> 00:15:28,158 I just.... 227 00:15:29,362 --> 00:15:33,526 Maybe you could give me an example of what a good answer would be. 228 00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:34,826 What did you say? 229 00:15:35,902 --> 00:15:38,302 You want Lou to tell you who you are? 230 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,234 No, I just.... 231 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,477 I'm a nice, easygoing man. 232 00:15:48,381 --> 00:15:50,906 I might be a little bit indecisive at times. 233 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:54,451 Dave, you're describing your personality. 234 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:55,952 I want to know... 235 00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:59,884 - ...who you are. - What the hell do you want me to say? 236 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,656 I mean, I'm sorry. I just.... I want to answer your question. 237 00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:11,929 I'm just not doing it right, I guess. 238 00:16:12,105 --> 00:16:15,905 I think we're getting a picture, Dave. 239 00:16:16,076 --> 00:16:19,011 - Let's move on. - Dr. Rydell, I'd like to know something. 240 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,340 Why is it that Chuck thinks he can smoke? 241 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:25,109 I do whatever I want when I want, you little Spanish fruit topping. 242 00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:28,151 Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant. 243 00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,956 What are you laughing at, Dave? 244 00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,793 Just laughing. I don't know. I'm not laughing at you. 245 00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:42,162 Were you laughing with me? Because I'm not laughing. 246 00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,501 Am I out of line, or is this guy pushing me? 247 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,240 Well, how do you feel, Chuck? 248 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:52,468 I went from happy to angry, skipped sad. Now I feel like kicking his ass. 249 00:16:52,846 --> 00:16:54,370 Then we'll see who's laughing. 250 00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:57,983 What? Think you're better than me because you've got both your nuts? 251 00:16:58,752 --> 00:17:02,415 All right, man. All right. Come on. Come on, big boy. Pretty boy. 252 00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:08,190 All right. Is it worth going back to the penitentiary, Chuck? 253 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,592 - So he's laughing at you. - I'm not laughing at him. 254 00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,068 Goosfraba. 255 00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:25,176 - Goosfraba. - Okay. 256 00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:28,973 Good job, Chuck. That was really good. 257 00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:32,183 Where's the coffee cake? I was looking forward to it. 258 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:33,763 Where's the coffee cake? I was looking forward to it. 259 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,551 I haven't been to the Actors Studio in quite some time. 260 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:39,623 - I'm sure your audition will go well. - Thanks. I hope so. 261 00:17:39,793 --> 00:17:40,987 - Good night. - All right. 262 00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,423 - Thanks, Buddy. - Bye-bye. 263 00:17:42,595 --> 00:17:44,790 That was a little bit insane. 264 00:17:45,065 --> 00:17:48,228 If I had to do 20 hours of that, I'd end up killing myself. 265 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,401 Here you go. 266 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,537 Twenty hours in my class would be pointless for you. 267 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:53,964 I agree. 268 00:17:54,207 --> 00:17:57,699 I think I'm going to recommend to the court that we double your time. 269 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,539 What do you mean? 270 00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,270 Let me explain something. 271 00:18:01,614 --> 00:18:05,243 There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. 272 00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:09,452 Explosive is the kind of individual that you see screaming at the cashier... 273 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,487 ...for not taking their coupons. 274 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:16,421 Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet, day after day... 275 00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:20,087 ...and finally shoots everyone in the store. 276 00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,858 You're the cashier. 277 00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:26,970 No. I'm the guy hiding in the frozen food section dialing 911, I swear. 278 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,265 I'm going to assign you an anger ally... 279 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,967 ...to help calm you down when you're losing it. 280 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:33,245 Chuck. 281 00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:36,243 Not Chuck. Give me Bobby Knight, or the porno girls. 282 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,213 Heard we're partnering up, huh? 283 00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,008 - Yes. - Here's my number. 284 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:42,745 Great. "You're going to die, bitch." 285 00:18:43,156 --> 00:18:45,818 Oops, that's a letter I'm writing to Geraldo Rivera. 286 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:47,583 - I see. - My bad. Here. 287 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,159 That's the number. Good. Thank you. 288 00:18:52,098 --> 00:18:54,726 Dave and Chuck... 289 00:18:55,969 --> 00:18:59,200 ...working together as a team. 290 00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:03,903 - It's a win-win situation. - Yeah, feels it. 291 00:19:04,077 --> 00:19:05,908 Dave's particulars. 292 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:07,969 I'll see you soon. 293 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,749 The Yanks are great this season. 294 00:19:17,924 --> 00:19:20,358 Dave thinks they could beat Seattle's win record. 295 00:19:20,593 --> 00:19:23,926 Remember at Brown when we saw Ron Guidry win his 20th? 296 00:19:24,130 --> 00:19:25,927 Oh, man. He was on fire that year. 297 00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,258 We could've been too. 298 00:19:27,467 --> 00:19:30,732 Andrew, don't start or I can't hang out with you anymore. 299 00:19:30,904 --> 00:19:33,998 Sorry, it's just hard. I'll never meet anyone as good as you. 300 00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:36,867 You will. She'll be a very lucky lady. 301 00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:39,637 Thanks for being my best friend. 302 00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,708 Linda. 303 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,043 - Hey, Dave. - Andrew. 304 00:19:45,251 --> 00:19:46,809 Good to see you guys hugging. 305 00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,588 How was the doctor? 306 00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,756 Psychotic. 307 00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:55,552 Well, did you get any good promotion news from Mr. Head? 308 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,663 I wasn't able to talk to him about that yet, but I will. 309 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:02,996 Not that crowded here. You'd think it would be packed. 310 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:07,299 I rented the place. I figured it'd be more fun if it was just Brown alumni. 311 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:09,805 Where'd you go to college again? 312 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:11,671 Trenton Community College. 313 00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:17,077 You had a hard day. Let me buy you a milk shake. 314 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:18,976 Later, Andrew. 315 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:22,313 ...once you cast your line in, so during retrieval... 316 00:20:22,488 --> 00:20:25,423 ...it'll help you to create a realistic and a erratic.... 317 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,019 Hey, Dave. 318 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:32,925 - Hey. Andrew, what's up? - Not much. 319 00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:35,699 You always try to simulate live bait. 320 00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:40,429 Okay, they got fishing while you go to the bathroom. That's nice. 321 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:42,801 Yep. Bass fishing. Hey, he caught one. 322 00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,373 Be aware of your presentation... 323 00:20:45,545 --> 00:20:49,276 ...and make sure that, as you work it along.... 324 00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:50,775 Oh, yeah. 325 00:20:53,653 --> 00:20:55,018 Congratulations. 326 00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:57,884 Now that is a big one, folks. 327 00:21:03,863 --> 00:21:05,728 Always a blast being with your friends. 328 00:21:05,898 --> 00:21:07,365 It was a great night. 329 00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:09,524 Yankees winning, beer and hot dogs. 330 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,862 Yeah, you like those foot-long hot dogs, don't you? 331 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:18,807 So I saw your boy Andrew at the urinal. 332 00:21:19,245 --> 00:21:20,644 Saw his... 333 00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,509 - ...thing. - You were looking? 334 00:21:23,716 --> 00:21:25,479 Yeah, unfortunately. 335 00:21:25,718 --> 00:21:30,212 So, now, did this guy grow up near a nuclear power plant or something? 336 00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:32,114 What are you talking about? 337 00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:36,695 Never really seen nothing like that before. Didn't it used to scare you? 338 00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:37,863 I never saw it. 339 00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:39,856 You never saw it? 340 00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:43,625 No, I told you, I never slept with him. Why, is it huge? 341 00:21:44,304 --> 00:21:46,033 No. No. No. No. 342 00:21:46,239 --> 00:21:49,697 It's actually quite petite. 343 00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,910 I felt bad for him. 344 00:21:52,378 --> 00:21:55,745 It looked like it belonged on a baby and it had a funny color. 345 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,577 I bet he got a lot of snickers in the locker room. 346 00:21:59,819 --> 00:22:01,753 Like, "What the hell's that thing?" 347 00:22:01,921 --> 00:22:05,254 When you're in a locker room, you must feel good about yourself. 348 00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:10,226 I do. If there are 20 naked guys in there, I'm usually in the top 18. 349 00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,998 - Which isn't bad. - You're doing really good. 350 00:22:13,166 --> 00:22:14,497 Thanks. 351 00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:22,072 - Who's that? - I don't know. Let me get rid of them. 352 00:22:23,776 --> 00:22:26,904 - Hello? - Dave, it's me, Chuck. 353 00:22:27,413 --> 00:22:29,643 - Who's Chuck? - Your anger ally. 354 00:22:29,816 --> 00:22:31,681 I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood. 355 00:22:31,918 --> 00:22:33,283 A very bad mood. 356 00:22:33,453 --> 00:22:36,980 I was fired from my ice-cream truck job today. No more Fudgeicles. 357 00:22:37,590 --> 00:22:39,922 - What's an anger ally? - Who's that? 358 00:22:40,259 --> 00:22:41,317 She making fun of me? 359 00:22:42,428 --> 00:22:44,623 No. That's my girlfriend. 360 00:22:44,797 --> 00:22:48,927 You tell her to put a sock in it because I need to talk to you right now! 361 00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,333 We're a little busy right now. 362 00:22:51,537 --> 00:22:53,596 You're busy? We're all busy, okay? 363 00:22:53,973 --> 00:22:57,431 You come down here before a black wolf swallows my brain! 364 00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:10,487 After I got kicked out of the Army, I went through a real bad time: 365 00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:15,218 Hookers, booze, shooting holes in the ceiling, screaming myself to sleep. 366 00:23:15,995 --> 00:23:18,395 Finally, my parents said I had to move out. 367 00:23:19,232 --> 00:23:22,463 I'm guessing that's when you decided to shack up with your aunt. 368 00:23:22,969 --> 00:23:24,766 Don't get cute, wiseass! 369 00:23:25,471 --> 00:23:26,495 But, yes. 370 00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,199 What's with the watch, huh? Am I boring you? 371 00:23:30,376 --> 00:23:35,245 We ordered the drinks 15 minutes ago and I kind of gotta get back. 372 00:23:35,948 --> 00:23:37,415 Miss? Excuse me, miss? 373 00:23:37,617 --> 00:23:40,415 Is this Slow And Stupid Waitress Day? 374 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:42,679 I'm sorry. I be right with you. 375 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:46,320 Damn, man, reminds me of these chicks back in the war. 376 00:23:46,492 --> 00:23:49,393 Would give you the old licky-licky, then fry your banana. 377 00:23:49,595 --> 00:23:50,595 Settle. 378 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:55,223 I have seen some shit, man. I kid you not, I have seen some shit. 379 00:23:56,536 --> 00:24:00,404 Wake up to the sound of kids screaming. 380 00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:02,570 Explosions everywhere. 381 00:24:03,910 --> 00:24:05,775 Never know when your number's up. 382 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,707 Vietnam, huh? 383 00:24:09,415 --> 00:24:11,815 - Grenada, man. - Grenada? 384 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,916 Wasn't that like 12 hours long? 385 00:24:19,725 --> 00:24:20,725 Did you see that? 386 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:24,993 - See what? - That guy. He just gave me a look. 387 00:24:26,699 --> 00:24:27,996 He didn't give you a look. 388 00:24:28,234 --> 00:24:32,170 And I'm pretty sure I heard him mutter some kind of anti-Semitic remark. 389 00:24:33,406 --> 00:24:34,634 Are you Jewish? 390 00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:38,573 I could be. But, no. Half Irish, half Italian, half Mexican. 391 00:24:40,279 --> 00:24:42,304 Let's go give those guys some tsuris. 392 00:24:42,949 --> 00:24:45,474 Well, the guy on the left is blind, Chuck. 393 00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:47,480 I hear you. 394 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:48,920 He's yours. 395 00:24:49,322 --> 00:24:51,085 No. That's not what I was saying. 396 00:24:52,625 --> 00:24:53,649 - Hey. - What the hell? 397 00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,487 Got something against guys with hair? 398 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:56,661 What's going on? 399 00:25:02,869 --> 00:25:04,461 Don't! Stop it! Stop! 400 00:25:04,637 --> 00:25:06,764 Stop! Goosfraba! 401 00:25:06,939 --> 00:25:07,939 You piece of shit! 402 00:25:15,915 --> 00:25:17,849 Stop it! Stop it! 403 00:25:21,821 --> 00:25:23,288 Welcome back, Mr. Buznik. 404 00:25:23,856 --> 00:25:27,587 I see you've managed to brutalize a cocktail waitress this time. 405 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:31,652 I guess beating up stewardesses can get old after a while. 406 00:25:31,864 --> 00:25:33,957 Flight attendant, Your Honor. 407 00:25:34,267 --> 00:25:37,259 I didn't hit her on purpose, Your Honor. 408 00:25:37,470 --> 00:25:39,495 I was being attacked by someone... 409 00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:42,299 ...and while I was trying to take away his.... 410 00:25:42,508 --> 00:25:43,941 His.... 411 00:25:44,143 --> 00:25:46,805 Trying to take away my cane, Your Honor. 412 00:25:48,314 --> 00:25:51,112 You cracked a waitress in the face... 413 00:25:51,317 --> 00:25:53,979 ...while attempting to steal a blind man's cane? 414 00:25:54,453 --> 00:25:58,150 Your Honor, we're not even sure how blind this man really is. 415 00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:06,691 Okay. My bad. Moving on. 416 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:09,126 Happy now, ass-wipe? 417 00:26:09,468 --> 00:26:12,733 Mr. Buznik, I don't know why you hate women. 418 00:26:12,972 --> 00:26:14,633 Maybe you don't know either... 419 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:19,834 ...but I'll let you think about it while you spend one year in a state prison. 420 00:26:20,079 --> 00:26:22,513 - Isn't that a bit harsh, Your Honor? - No! 421 00:26:23,182 --> 00:26:24,182 Okay. 422 00:26:27,687 --> 00:26:31,316 - May I approach, Your Honor? - By all means, Dr. Rydell. 423 00:26:31,490 --> 00:26:32,514 Thank you. 424 00:26:42,001 --> 00:26:44,162 - It's been a while. - Yes, it has. 425 00:26:44,337 --> 00:26:46,999 - You look marvelous, Brenda. - Thank you. 426 00:26:47,173 --> 00:26:48,868 - And how are the boys? - Fantastic. 427 00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:51,942 James made the basketball team, Raheem landed the lead... 428 00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,601 ...in Fiddler on the Roof. 429 00:26:53,779 --> 00:26:57,374 Raheem will make a breathtaking Tevye, I'm sure. 430 00:26:58,050 --> 00:27:01,918 So do you have a take on this Buznik guy? 431 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,850 Is this good or bad? 432 00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:07,017 Well, it's bad that he's talking to her... 433 00:27:07,226 --> 00:27:08,853 ...but it's good that.... 434 00:27:10,196 --> 00:27:12,858 No, it's bad. It's all bad. 435 00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:16,757 - You think you can help him? - I think so, Your Honor. 436 00:27:17,036 --> 00:27:22,030 If I can't, I'll tear him apart with my bare hands. 437 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:30,906 Mr. Buznik... 438 00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:34,575 ...because of the enormous respect I have for Dr. Rydell... 439 00:27:34,754 --> 00:27:37,723 ...I'm placing you in his intensive anger management program... 440 00:27:37,890 --> 00:27:39,221 ...for 30 days. 441 00:27:39,625 --> 00:27:43,652 But if you fail to strictly adhere to the rules of his program... 442 00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:46,764 ...you will spend the next year in state prison. 443 00:28:00,012 --> 00:28:02,537 - Buddy? - Good evening. Ready to get it on? 444 00:28:02,715 --> 00:28:04,342 Get what on? What are you doing here? 445 00:28:04,517 --> 00:28:05,950 Well, well, well. 446 00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:07,483 The lair of the rage rhino. 447 00:28:07,687 --> 00:28:10,622 I smell the effluvium of pain and frustration. 448 00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:13,018 - Where should we put my stuff? - What stuff? 449 00:28:13,426 --> 00:28:15,917 We've got 30 days to control your anger. 450 00:28:16,128 --> 00:28:18,688 My approach dictates intense observation. 451 00:28:18,931 --> 00:28:21,764 What better vantage point than bunkmates? 452 00:28:22,501 --> 00:28:24,662 Put that there, Dan, thank you very much. 453 00:28:24,870 --> 00:28:30,103 No. No. I'm sorry. Guys, I don't think you should be moving in with me. 454 00:28:30,342 --> 00:28:31,502 Sit down, Dave. 455 00:28:33,946 --> 00:28:35,846 Let's be perfectly clear about this. 456 00:28:36,182 --> 00:28:38,309 You've been deemed a threat to society. 457 00:28:38,517 --> 00:28:40,849 I believe that radical, round-the-clock therapy... 458 00:28:41,020 --> 00:28:44,114 ...is the only way to effect a meaningful and positive change... 459 00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:45,348 ...in your behavior. 460 00:28:45,591 --> 00:28:47,650 Now we can do it here or Rikers Island. 461 00:28:47,860 --> 00:28:50,158 - Anything else, Dr. B? - No thanks, Dan. 462 00:28:50,362 --> 00:28:52,694 We'll install the wiretaps tomorrow. 463 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:53,898 Wiretaps? 464 00:28:54,133 --> 00:28:56,567 - Is this your CD collection? - Yes. 465 00:28:57,470 --> 00:28:58,732 Oh, my. 466 00:29:00,673 --> 00:29:02,197 What are you doing? 467 00:29:02,374 --> 00:29:05,571 I don't want you listening to any angry music. 468 00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:07,542 The Carpenters are angry? I mean.... 469 00:29:08,647 --> 00:29:10,205 Don't be naive, Dave. 470 00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:13,541 "Close to You." "We've Only Just Begun." 471 00:29:13,753 --> 00:29:16,483 Songs of madness and obsession. 472 00:29:17,723 --> 00:29:19,486 Who's going to pay for that? 473 00:29:19,692 --> 00:29:24,652 Retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me. Can you do that? 474 00:29:25,064 --> 00:29:27,862 Yeah. It's retarded. I'm retarded. 475 00:29:28,901 --> 00:29:30,061 Good. 476 00:29:30,236 --> 00:29:33,899 Now then, we need to go over some ground rules. 477 00:29:36,742 --> 00:29:38,835 My girlfriend got me that. 478 00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:43,977 You're to refrain from violent acts including verbal assault... 479 00:29:44,150 --> 00:29:45,583 ...and vulgar hand gestures. 480 00:29:45,785 --> 00:29:48,515 You may not use rage-enhancing substances... 481 00:29:48,687 --> 00:29:52,418 ...such as caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, crack cocaine... 482 00:29:52,625 --> 00:29:55,219 ...Slippy-Flippies, Jelly Stingers, Trick Sticks... 483 00:29:55,394 --> 00:29:57,191 ...Bing Bangs or Flying Willards. 484 00:29:57,396 --> 00:30:00,092 - How about Fiddle Faddles? - Under my supervision. 485 00:30:00,566 --> 00:30:03,296 Also, if you are unable to stop masturbating... 486 00:30:03,469 --> 00:30:06,927 ...please do so without the use of any pornographic images... 487 00:30:07,139 --> 00:30:10,768 ...depicting quote-unquote "angry sex." 488 00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:14,434 That having been said, I'm a pretty good guy... 489 00:30:14,613 --> 00:30:16,581 ...and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised... 490 00:30:16,749 --> 00:30:18,649 ...at how much fun we can have. 491 00:30:18,818 --> 00:30:23,187 Jeez, without Slippy-Flippies or angry masturbating? How is that possible? 492 00:30:23,355 --> 00:30:27,553 Sarcasm is anger's ugly cousin. From now on, unacceptable. 493 00:30:28,460 --> 00:30:30,325 Dave, I got this for you. 494 00:30:30,563 --> 00:30:33,088 It's a wonderfully therapeutic tool. 495 00:30:33,299 --> 00:30:36,097 Record your thoughts on this whenever you feel angry. 496 00:30:37,403 --> 00:30:39,633 I'm feeling very angry right now... 497 00:30:39,805 --> 00:30:42,899 ...because I only have one bed and no couch. 498 00:30:43,108 --> 00:30:44,473 Not a problem. 499 00:30:46,912 --> 00:30:52,248 In Europe, it's not considered unusual for three or four men to share a bed. 500 00:30:52,585 --> 00:30:55,918 Yeah, well, that's why I'm proud to be an American. 501 00:30:58,257 --> 00:30:59,588 By the way.... 502 00:31:05,297 --> 00:31:07,424 I like to sleep in the nude. 503 00:31:43,969 --> 00:31:45,596 You hear that frog? 504 00:31:46,305 --> 00:31:47,305 Nope. 505 00:32:05,157 --> 00:32:06,157 What do you want? 506 00:32:06,358 --> 00:32:09,156 I'm just recording your demeanor upon awakening. 507 00:32:10,396 --> 00:32:13,331 Good to see you got your underwear back on. 508 00:32:13,999 --> 00:32:15,091 6:30? 509 00:32:15,334 --> 00:32:17,199 I don't gotta be up till 7. 510 00:32:17,403 --> 00:32:19,166 You've got to make my breakfast. 511 00:32:20,339 --> 00:32:23,502 Dave, cooking is very relaxing and therapeutic. 512 00:32:24,009 --> 00:32:27,410 I want two eggs, over easy and unfertilized... 513 00:32:27,613 --> 00:32:29,945 ...wheat toast, dry, and please... 514 00:32:30,115 --> 00:32:31,776 ...tell me you've got ketchup. 515 00:32:32,017 --> 00:32:34,042 There's a Denny's down the street. 516 00:32:34,253 --> 00:32:35,618 Not only do they have ketchup... 517 00:32:35,788 --> 00:32:38,348 ...but they got the angriest waitresses I've seen. 518 00:32:38,524 --> 00:32:41,857 You could have a blast with the goosfraba thing down there. 519 00:32:42,194 --> 00:32:43,218 Lame-o. 520 00:33:05,451 --> 00:33:06,509 Your eggs. 521 00:33:15,394 --> 00:33:19,057 - Holy shit! - I said over easy!! 522 00:33:24,436 --> 00:33:25,801 Now, why did I do that? 523 00:33:26,405 --> 00:33:29,397 Because I refused to spoon with you last night? 524 00:33:31,276 --> 00:33:35,144 The angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. 525 00:33:36,749 --> 00:33:37,977 Alpha-Bits. 526 00:33:38,250 --> 00:33:42,516 No matter how old I get, always a culinary delight. 527 00:33:42,755 --> 00:33:46,282 No explanation for the egg throwing. He's a psycho. 528 00:33:46,792 --> 00:33:50,125 Don't sulk, Dave. Eat. Sit down. 529 00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:52,260 We'll be off to work in a jiffy. 530 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:58,266 "We'll be off to work." Now, by "we'll," I assume you mean just me, right? 531 00:33:58,437 --> 00:34:00,962 Well, I have to join you at work. 532 00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:02,435 Full contact. 533 00:34:02,975 --> 00:34:06,467 That will make me look nuts, Buddy, bringing a shrink to work... 534 00:34:06,678 --> 00:34:08,976 ...you whipping eggs at people. I don't know. 535 00:34:09,214 --> 00:34:13,207 You must never be ashamed that you sought help for yourself, Dave. 536 00:34:13,419 --> 00:34:14,977 It's not a weakness. 537 00:34:17,823 --> 00:34:19,723 I mean, I gotta be there by 9:00. 538 00:34:19,925 --> 00:34:22,985 I don't think we'll make it on time. You're not even dressed. 539 00:34:23,162 --> 00:34:26,154 The Talmud says: "Wherever you look... 540 00:34:27,166 --> 00:34:29,157 ...there's something to be seen." 541 00:34:30,035 --> 00:34:31,332 Look, Dave. 542 00:34:43,615 --> 00:34:46,516 - What exactly was that all about? - What? 543 00:34:46,685 --> 00:34:50,348 You just ran through a red light. Are you trying to get us both killed? 544 00:34:50,522 --> 00:34:54,356 I'm a little flustered right now. I have to be to work in eight minutes. 545 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:55,960 Flustered? 546 00:34:59,098 --> 00:35:01,999 Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, man! 547 00:35:02,267 --> 00:35:06,169 - Holy shit! What are you doing? - I need you to unfluster. 548 00:35:06,705 --> 00:35:09,936 My boss is going to go nuts on me if we're late, so please? 549 00:35:10,109 --> 00:35:12,475 We will proceed when you are centered. 550 00:35:12,644 --> 00:35:14,009 I'm centered, I'm centered. 551 00:35:14,179 --> 00:35:17,012 There's 10,000 people behind us. Let's go, crazy man. 552 00:35:19,651 --> 00:35:22,245 What is that? Is that good? 553 00:35:22,654 --> 00:35:24,246 We're going to sing a song. 554 00:35:24,690 --> 00:35:28,524 No. I don't want to sing a song. I want to go to.... I've gotta go. 555 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:29,853 Here we go. 556 00:35:30,028 --> 00:35:33,759 The magic of Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim's... 557 00:35:33,966 --> 00:35:36,560 ...West Side Story. 558 00:35:38,237 --> 00:35:39,795 "I Feel Pretty." 559 00:35:40,906 --> 00:35:43,204 Get this moving. What the hell's your problem? 560 00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:45,935 Shut your pie-hole! We're working here! 561 00:35:46,378 --> 00:35:47,606 Wow. Sorry. 562 00:36:45,270 --> 00:36:47,170 Move your ass, dipshit! 563 00:36:57,983 --> 00:36:59,143 Burn in hell! 564 00:37:14,433 --> 00:37:15,593 Yes! 565 00:37:19,371 --> 00:37:21,339 You feel stunning. 566 00:37:21,540 --> 00:37:23,337 And entrancing. 567 00:37:41,660 --> 00:37:43,457 You're late. 568 00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:47,098 Yes. There was a little bit of a tie up on the bridge. 569 00:37:47,266 --> 00:37:50,258 I didn't ask for a traffic report. You're always late. 570 00:37:50,435 --> 00:37:53,871 Now is the first time I've been late. But you're right. I'm sorry. 571 00:37:54,039 --> 00:37:55,267 May I interject? 572 00:37:55,641 --> 00:37:59,099 You were about to say something else before you said, "I'm sorry." 573 00:37:59,278 --> 00:38:01,269 We mustn't absorb and repress. 574 00:38:01,446 --> 00:38:05,246 - Who's this? - I'm his anger management therapist. 575 00:38:05,851 --> 00:38:07,682 You're in anger management? 576 00:38:09,221 --> 00:38:11,621 Temporarily, yeah. 577 00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:15,017 Do you remember the flight to St. Louis... 578 00:38:15,227 --> 00:38:18,492 ...that I was on when they had to turn the plane around? 579 00:38:18,664 --> 00:38:21,462 Yeah, yeah. Because of that unruly passenger in coach. 580 00:38:21,633 --> 00:38:23,123 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 581 00:38:23,302 --> 00:38:25,566 He doesn't like people touching his clubs. 582 00:38:27,773 --> 00:38:30,765 Well, that unruly passenger was me. 583 00:38:30,942 --> 00:38:35,436 I got arrested at Kennedy. That's why I didn't make the next flight. 584 00:38:36,081 --> 00:38:38,276 You said your apartment caught fire. 585 00:38:38,450 --> 00:38:41,647 Dissembling is a common tool of the anger junkie. 586 00:38:42,821 --> 00:38:46,416 Might I have your first name, Mr. Head? And tell me it isn't Dick. 587 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,822 - It's Frank. - Fran. 588 00:38:51,596 --> 00:38:53,826 Isn't that normally a girl's name? 589 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,258 What went on on that flight? 590 00:38:56,668 --> 00:38:59,603 To be honest with you, it was a mix-up. I.... 591 00:38:59,838 --> 00:39:02,204 Jibber jabber. Jibber jabbering. Mumbo jumbo. 592 00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:04,865 Denial. Key, key, key, key, key, key. 593 00:39:05,043 --> 00:39:08,342 Fran, your assistant beat the bejesus out of a flight attendant. 594 00:39:08,513 --> 00:39:10,208 - I didn't. - You broke her nose. 595 00:39:10,382 --> 00:39:12,441 I broke the cocktail waitress's nose. 596 00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:16,547 I mean, I accidentally did that. 597 00:39:16,722 --> 00:39:18,747 Dave, you have a disease. 598 00:39:18,924 --> 00:39:22,690 Would you apologize if you were a diabetic? Of course not. 599 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:26,957 Why do you feel you have to apologize because you're suffering from T.A.S.? 600 00:39:28,033 --> 00:39:29,033 T.A.S.? 601 00:39:29,201 --> 00:39:30,896 Toxic Anger Syndrome. 602 00:39:32,371 --> 00:39:33,736 I don't have T.A.S. 603 00:39:33,905 --> 00:39:37,033 He's angry. It's a sickness, not a crime, Fran. 604 00:39:37,209 --> 00:39:38,733 His name is Frank! 605 00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:45,315 No. I'm sorry. 606 00:39:57,662 --> 00:40:00,256 Clothes for cats isn't really a new idea... 607 00:40:00,432 --> 00:40:04,095 ...but there was never really a line made for overweight cats... 608 00:40:04,269 --> 00:40:07,204 ...who might feel a little self-conscious... 609 00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:09,465 ...about how they look in certain outfits. 610 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:12,906 That's why I got the baggy sweater on him, to cover up his gut. 611 00:40:13,078 --> 00:40:15,911 And the beret to take attention off his plump head. 612 00:40:16,081 --> 00:40:20,074 Oh, little Meatball. You tie this up tight... 613 00:40:20,252 --> 00:40:22,584 ...and away goes the chin. 614 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:24,483 I'm so handsome. 615 00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:31,459 - Hey, Dave. This is your office? - Andrew. 616 00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:34,224 - What are you doing here? - I played golf with Frank. 617 00:40:34,599 --> 00:40:37,898 He's friends with my dad. We're members of the same country club. 618 00:40:38,069 --> 00:40:41,095 Really? I've been wanting to play golf with him a long time. 619 00:40:41,273 --> 00:40:43,241 - Is it awesome there? - It's nice. 620 00:40:48,113 --> 00:40:51,276 So, anyway, Dave, how's anger management going? 621 00:40:52,284 --> 00:40:53,649 Who told you about that? 622 00:40:53,819 --> 00:40:56,413 Linda's my best friend. There's no secrets between us. 623 00:40:56,588 --> 00:41:00,217 For the love of Mike! This guy's your girl's best friend? 624 00:41:00,459 --> 00:41:03,292 No. I mean, I like to consider myself her best friend... 625 00:41:03,495 --> 00:41:08,296 ...but Andrew is her best friend friend, if that makes any sense. 626 00:41:08,467 --> 00:41:11,595 You ought to golf yourself. You look a little stressed out. 627 00:41:13,638 --> 00:41:15,162 I gotta go. Bye. 628 00:41:19,311 --> 00:41:20,676 Well, well, well. 629 00:41:20,979 --> 00:41:23,209 This guy's got quite a basket on him. 630 00:41:23,381 --> 00:41:25,508 Really? I didn't notice that. 631 00:41:25,884 --> 00:41:29,342 Do you really want the love of your life hanging around with a guy... 632 00:41:29,521 --> 00:41:33,082 ...who looks as though he could satisfy a blue whale? 633 00:41:33,558 --> 00:41:36,584 Well, it's.... I'm doing okay myself, pal. 634 00:41:36,928 --> 00:41:39,396 Maybe it's the way his pants fit him. 635 00:41:41,333 --> 00:41:42,425 What's up? 636 00:41:43,902 --> 00:41:46,496 - This is your young lady? - That's my Linda. 637 00:41:46,671 --> 00:41:48,764 My, oh, my. 638 00:41:49,841 --> 00:41:53,277 I was toying with the notion that you were gay... 639 00:41:53,445 --> 00:41:55,811 ...because of the kitty-cat clothes, so forth. 640 00:41:56,815 --> 00:41:57,975 What does she do? 641 00:41:58,483 --> 00:42:02,351 She teaches poetry. Poetry teacher. 642 00:42:02,687 --> 00:42:04,518 I love poetry. 643 00:42:06,591 --> 00:42:09,355 Oh, my, my, my. It's.... 644 00:42:09,861 --> 00:42:12,523 Yes, it's a good picture of her. 645 00:42:15,767 --> 00:42:19,533 Well, apparently Dr. Rydell has a history of unorthodox techniques. 646 00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:21,535 He's got a dozen lawsuits pending. 647 00:42:21,706 --> 00:42:24,266 So it's not just me. This guy is nuts, isn't he? 648 00:42:24,442 --> 00:42:25,466 Or a genius. 649 00:42:25,644 --> 00:42:31,105 But if you could prove that he's nuts: audiotape, video, picture, whatever... 650 00:42:31,283 --> 00:42:32,841 ...I'll arrange a hearing. 651 00:42:35,353 --> 00:42:37,184 I gotta go. I think he's coming. 652 00:42:45,196 --> 00:42:46,458 Hi, Nancy. 653 00:42:46,631 --> 00:42:48,531 What are you doing in the ladies' room? 654 00:42:49,134 --> 00:42:53,298 Sorry. I just heard you guys got cleaner seats than us. 655 00:42:53,939 --> 00:42:55,964 Not after I get through with them. 656 00:42:59,177 --> 00:43:03,204 I don't care for the way you've ironed my shirts, Dave. Try it again. 657 00:43:03,381 --> 00:43:07,442 - I've been very patient with you. - Beware the fury of the patient man. 658 00:43:07,619 --> 00:43:10,213 - I'm serious! - Too serious. 659 00:43:10,422 --> 00:43:11,912 Get undressed. 660 00:43:12,490 --> 00:43:14,151 What did you say? 661 00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:16,652 Take off your clothes. 662 00:43:16,828 --> 00:43:19,388 I've got a stress-reduction technique to show you. 663 00:43:19,564 --> 00:43:22,499 - It'll be good for you. - Take off my clothes? 664 00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:24,897 Do you want to see me naked, Buddy? 665 00:43:27,339 --> 00:43:29,000 Are you a homophobe, Dave? 666 00:43:29,174 --> 00:43:34,339 No, I'm a pulling-my-penis-out- in-front-of-you-a-phobe. 667 00:43:35,447 --> 00:43:38,314 Let's take a walk on the wild side. 668 00:43:52,030 --> 00:43:53,759 - What's up, baby? - Why are we here? 669 00:43:53,932 --> 00:43:55,297 I'm not a homophobe. 670 00:43:55,467 --> 00:43:58,231 My lawyer's gay. His boyfriend is gay. 671 00:43:58,403 --> 00:44:00,894 And are they all aware that you despise them? 672 00:44:01,339 --> 00:44:03,398 Looking for company, baby? 673 00:44:03,575 --> 00:44:05,406 No. We're not. Thank you. 674 00:44:05,577 --> 00:44:07,238 It's worth 50 bucks... 675 00:44:07,412 --> 00:44:12,179 ...if you get in the back seat with my friend here and have a little chat. 676 00:44:12,350 --> 00:44:14,079 My pleasure, Mr. Eyebrows. 677 00:44:16,187 --> 00:44:17,916 Oh, boy, here we go. 678 00:44:21,026 --> 00:44:23,586 - Hello. - Hey. Good to see you. 679 00:44:24,663 --> 00:44:27,655 - What's your name, baby? - Melvin. 680 00:44:27,832 --> 00:44:30,426 His name is David. Don't dissemble. 681 00:44:30,602 --> 00:44:34,003 I'm not dissembling. That's my Hebrew name. 682 00:44:34,172 --> 00:44:37,505 I'm Galaxia. That's my German name. 683 00:44:37,709 --> 00:44:39,006 Great. 684 00:44:39,177 --> 00:44:42,408 Where are you from originally, Hebrew Melvin? 685 00:44:42,580 --> 00:44:43,672 Brooklyn. 686 00:44:44,182 --> 00:44:47,242 What part of Germany do you hail from? 687 00:44:47,419 --> 00:44:52,015 I'm from a little Bavarian village called Lickin Zee Dickin. 688 00:44:52,190 --> 00:44:53,214 Care to visit? 689 00:44:53,725 --> 00:44:57,889 Actually, I like to spend most of my time... 690 00:44:58,063 --> 00:45:00,463 ...in Girls Without Wieners-ville. 691 00:45:00,865 --> 00:45:02,799 I'm more comfortable there. 692 00:45:05,537 --> 00:45:08,131 He's just not used to male intimacy. 693 00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:11,603 Well, that's okay, because I'm a lady. 694 00:45:11,876 --> 00:45:13,309 Oops, no, I'm not. 695 00:45:13,478 --> 00:45:14,502 Whoa! There it is. 696 00:45:15,447 --> 00:45:18,245 I feel like dancing. Dancing. 697 00:45:20,051 --> 00:45:21,051 Oh, my God. 698 00:45:21,619 --> 00:45:24,315 What does this have to do with anger management? 699 00:45:24,489 --> 00:45:28,084 - Oh, are you an angry boy? - No. 700 00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:29,817 Do you need some discipline? 701 00:45:30,028 --> 00:45:31,222 No, thank you very... 702 00:45:31,396 --> 00:45:33,489 Oh! Hey! Hey, watch that shit! 703 00:45:33,732 --> 00:45:36,997 Listen, ladies! Gentleman! Lentleman! 704 00:45:37,168 --> 00:45:40,296 I'm not having sex with a she-male! Relax! 705 00:45:40,472 --> 00:45:42,963 Galaxia, you may get out of the car now. 706 00:45:43,141 --> 00:45:45,735 Your services are no longer required. 707 00:45:47,145 --> 00:45:48,407 You know what? 708 00:45:48,813 --> 00:45:50,508 You guys are freaks. 709 00:45:53,251 --> 00:45:54,809 Give me the tape recorder. 710 00:45:57,422 --> 00:45:58,582 Come on. 711 00:46:01,359 --> 00:46:03,759 Patient number 135, David Buznik... 712 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:07,694 ...has learned the difference between unhealthy anger and righteous anger. 713 00:46:07,866 --> 00:46:12,394 Thus he has advanced to the second level of my program. 714 00:46:12,604 --> 00:46:15,004 Great. Can I go throw up now? 715 00:46:20,545 --> 00:46:22,809 I'm a lady. Oops, no, I'm not. 716 00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:25,711 - Whoa, there it is. - I feel like dancing. 717 00:46:25,950 --> 00:46:29,113 Wasn't that sick? She looked like Olivia Newton-John... 718 00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:33,121 ...if she was really ugly and had huge balls. 719 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:35,953 But Buddy didn't order you to have sex. 720 00:46:36,127 --> 00:46:37,958 I'm getting a call. Please hang on. 721 00:46:38,496 --> 00:46:40,794 - Hello? - Is Buddy there? 722 00:46:41,499 --> 00:46:43,626 No, he's in the shower right now. 723 00:46:43,835 --> 00:46:45,462 This is Becky, his assistant. 724 00:46:45,637 --> 00:46:47,798 Just tell him his mom called from Boston. 725 00:46:48,006 --> 00:46:50,998 She said she's having some minor surgery. 726 00:46:51,176 --> 00:46:56,375 It's not serious, but she'll be at Boston County Hospital for the next two days. 727 00:47:08,226 --> 00:47:12,856 Miracles of modern science. I am stimulating my hair follicles... 728 00:47:13,031 --> 00:47:15,226 ...and brushing my teeth at the same time. 729 00:47:15,934 --> 00:47:17,799 It looks really good. 730 00:47:20,939 --> 00:47:21,939 What's the matter? 731 00:47:22,273 --> 00:47:25,902 Your mom. They took her to the hospital, Buddy. 732 00:47:26,511 --> 00:47:27,978 What's wrong with my mother? 733 00:47:28,146 --> 00:47:31,047 She's having surgery. 734 00:47:31,216 --> 00:47:32,274 I'm sorry. 735 00:47:32,450 --> 00:47:36,113 - Is it serious? - When is surgery not serious? 736 00:47:36,454 --> 00:47:38,820 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. 737 00:47:39,023 --> 00:47:41,958 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 738 00:47:42,126 --> 00:47:45,118 ...see what's going on up there. 739 00:47:45,296 --> 00:47:48,754 Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you just go up there. 740 00:47:49,133 --> 00:47:52,068 Spend some quality time. I'll stay here. 741 00:47:52,237 --> 00:47:53,864 It'll be good for you guys. 742 00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:55,471 Oh, God. 743 00:48:00,545 --> 00:48:04,242 You're all I got, Mom. Please don't leave me. 744 00:48:09,921 --> 00:48:12,719 No more clam chowder. 745 00:48:15,159 --> 00:48:16,159 Buddy... 746 00:48:16,327 --> 00:48:17,817 ...it was a joke. 747 00:48:18,429 --> 00:48:21,023 I'm sorry. You don't have to cry anymore. 748 00:48:23,001 --> 00:48:24,935 - A joke? - Yeah. 749 00:48:25,169 --> 00:48:26,761 Oh, boy. 750 00:48:27,005 --> 00:48:29,701 A joke. A jo... I.... 751 00:48:29,908 --> 00:48:32,240 I can't believe that I fell for that one. 752 00:48:34,412 --> 00:48:37,142 I really thought my mother was having surgery. 753 00:48:38,650 --> 00:48:41,050 I'm going to get you back for that one. 754 00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:48,252 Just so you know, she really is having surgery. 755 00:48:51,095 --> 00:48:53,290 I thought you said you were joking. 756 00:48:53,498 --> 00:48:55,625 No, the serious part was the joke. 757 00:48:55,833 --> 00:48:59,166 She's having surgery, but just minor surgery. 758 00:49:00,104 --> 00:49:03,505 Maybe I better get up to Boston... 759 00:49:03,708 --> 00:49:06,871 ...see what's really going on up there. 760 00:49:07,045 --> 00:49:10,640 Why don't you...? You just shoot up there. I'll be here. 761 00:49:14,852 --> 00:49:15,852 What? 762 00:49:16,254 --> 00:49:19,849 - I can't believe he's making me go. - How come you guys aren't flying? 763 00:49:20,024 --> 00:49:24,085 Because Dr. Cocoa Puff said legally I'm not allowed to get on a plane. 764 00:49:24,262 --> 00:49:26,958 Meanwhile, I've got Head up my ass about that catalog. 765 00:49:27,131 --> 00:49:29,895 I've got to get it done with nut-boy in Boston. 766 00:49:30,134 --> 00:49:32,125 Why can't Head write his own catalog? 767 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,737 Because I've got to earn that promotion. 768 00:49:34,906 --> 00:49:37,807 You've been doing his job for years. You should be his... 769 00:49:37,976 --> 00:49:40,877 I'm sorry. I know this is really stressing you out. 770 00:49:41,045 --> 00:49:44,139 I'm sure that it's going to be over before you know it. 771 00:49:44,315 --> 00:49:47,478 Yeah, if I don't get caught popping any Jelly Stingers. 772 00:49:47,652 --> 00:49:49,620 Well, that's going to be tough! 773 00:50:00,331 --> 00:50:02,390 Oh, God. There he is. 774 00:50:02,567 --> 00:50:04,501 - That's him? - Yes. 775 00:50:07,572 --> 00:50:10,166 What? Oh. Okay, I'll hold that. 776 00:50:10,575 --> 00:50:11,575 My... 777 00:50:11,743 --> 00:50:13,404 The quiet warmth 778 00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:18,311 Smoldering beneath the rituals Of hope for familiarity 779 00:50:18,583 --> 00:50:21,279 A coursing underground river 780 00:50:21,452 --> 00:50:24,819 Pregnant with the chance currents Of knowledge and love 781 00:50:24,989 --> 00:50:28,322 - What? - That's my poem! I wrote that. 782 00:50:28,493 --> 00:50:29,755 I know. 783 00:50:29,927 --> 00:50:32,259 That is your poem. I love that poem. 784 00:50:32,430 --> 00:50:35,024 I found it crumpled up behind the sports pages... 785 00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:37,292 ...on the floor of David's bedroom. 786 00:50:38,603 --> 00:50:43,097 - Shades of early Emily Dickinson. - Who was great on Police Woman. 787 00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:47,777 Thank you. And thank you for rescuing it from the floor. 788 00:50:49,213 --> 00:50:51,443 I think I better get going. 789 00:50:52,450 --> 00:50:55,749 I'll miss you, big guy, so take good care. 790 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:57,785 - How about a kiss? - I'd love a kiss. 791 00:50:57,955 --> 00:51:00,719 I think she's talking to me. I think I can handle it. 792 00:51:00,892 --> 00:51:03,292 So why don't you back up an inch or two. 793 00:51:03,461 --> 00:51:04,553 Got it. 794 00:51:05,730 --> 00:51:07,493 Thank you. And, take care. 795 00:51:07,732 --> 00:51:09,791 Have a great trip, you guys. 796 00:51:09,967 --> 00:51:11,229 Oh, we will. 797 00:51:11,402 --> 00:51:12,664 Bye. 798 00:51:18,910 --> 00:51:19,934 What? 799 00:51:20,111 --> 00:51:23,444 Some mindless nitwit is parked behind me. 800 00:51:23,648 --> 00:51:25,115 Good. Then we can't go. 801 00:51:25,283 --> 00:51:26,841 No, I can get out. 802 00:51:27,118 --> 00:51:29,985 - Get in. - I don't know how you'll get out. 803 00:51:30,488 --> 00:51:34,185 Try to wiggle out, you're going to get a ding. But you know everything. 804 00:51:39,564 --> 00:51:40,690 What's he doing? 805 00:51:49,173 --> 00:51:52,336 Well, you're batting a thousand... 806 00:51:52,543 --> 00:51:54,272 ...in craziness. 807 00:51:57,215 --> 00:51:59,012 Now we're bumping into cars. 808 00:51:59,183 --> 00:52:01,845 I'm just making a little room to back up. 809 00:52:02,019 --> 00:52:03,987 If I had lost my temper... 810 00:52:04,155 --> 00:52:06,487 ...would I have had the presence of mind... 811 00:52:06,657 --> 00:52:09,626 ...to leave my card and my insurance information? 812 00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:13,389 Whatever, Mr. Insane-Vein-Popping- A-Little-Too-Far-Out-Of-His-Head-... 813 00:52:13,564 --> 00:52:15,088 ...While-Swinging-The-Bat Guy. 814 00:52:23,174 --> 00:52:25,472 I think you've got room to back up. 815 00:52:38,222 --> 00:52:41,020 Why haven't you taken Linda off the market? 816 00:52:41,192 --> 00:52:42,591 Think you can do better? 817 00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:45,991 I'm going to ask her to marry me when I'm ready. 818 00:52:46,164 --> 00:52:49,190 Nobody wants to settle down with a 35-year-old secretary. 819 00:52:49,367 --> 00:52:50,857 Procrastination, Dave. 820 00:52:51,035 --> 00:52:52,468 I'm not procrastinating. 821 00:52:52,637 --> 00:52:55,071 I even think about how I'm going to pop the question. 822 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:58,834 Husky down jacket. Husky Eskimo look. 823 00:52:59,010 --> 00:53:02,844 What's your plan, ask her at a Yankee game? 824 00:53:04,081 --> 00:53:05,946 Actually, yes. How did you know? 825 00:53:06,117 --> 00:53:08,449 I said the corniest thing I could think of. 826 00:53:08,653 --> 00:53:11,622 If you knew Linda, you'd know how uncorny it would be to her. 827 00:53:11,789 --> 00:53:14,485 Putting up a "Marry me, please" on the scoreboard... 828 00:53:14,659 --> 00:53:17,992 ...proclaiming my love for her in front of thousands of strangers. 829 00:53:18,696 --> 00:53:22,757 As you seem to have noticed, I'm a little bit jumpy with public affection. 830 00:53:23,501 --> 00:53:25,969 You seemed to be lovey-dovey back there. 831 00:53:27,371 --> 00:53:30,067 Glad you think that's funny. I gotta work. 832 00:53:47,491 --> 00:53:49,959 A five-hour trip to find out Mommy had a jelly bean... 833 00:53:50,127 --> 00:53:51,219 ...removed from her nose. 834 00:53:51,395 --> 00:53:53,795 I'm glad I missed work. Can we eat now? 835 00:54:12,116 --> 00:54:14,084 You could have her, you know. 836 00:54:15,987 --> 00:54:19,150 I'm sure she'd love to hang out with a goofy secretary... 837 00:54:19,323 --> 00:54:21,883 ...whose only talent is nostril wiggling. 838 00:54:22,660 --> 00:54:24,992 - Girls love that. - Dave... 839 00:54:25,162 --> 00:54:29,030 ...you've got a lot more going for you than wiggly nostrils. 840 00:54:29,233 --> 00:54:31,997 I want you to go over there and ask that woman out. 841 00:54:32,670 --> 00:54:33,898 No, I got a girlfriend. 842 00:54:34,839 --> 00:54:39,242 I'm not telling you to elope with her. Just go over and flirt a little bit. 843 00:54:39,410 --> 00:54:42,379 Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin, Buddy. 844 00:54:42,613 --> 00:54:44,274 I'm not a cheater. 845 00:54:44,615 --> 00:54:48,142 Is it cheating if you're passed around the cell block like a peace pipe? 846 00:54:48,319 --> 00:54:53,484 Because that is what's on the docket for you if you don't go and ask her out. 847 00:54:53,658 --> 00:54:54,852 Okay, Dave? 848 00:54:55,826 --> 00:54:57,020 Oh, God. 849 00:55:01,432 --> 00:55:03,093 That's my boy. 850 00:55:07,872 --> 00:55:09,396 Excuse me. 851 00:55:10,541 --> 00:55:14,272 I was wondering if I could buy you a drink. I see that you have a drink... 852 00:55:14,445 --> 00:55:17,812 ...but I could get you another when you're through with that one. 853 00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:21,017 Bite me. 854 00:55:22,486 --> 00:55:25,080 Nice meeting you. Okay. 855 00:55:29,627 --> 00:55:31,720 Can you guess why she rejected you? 856 00:55:31,896 --> 00:55:36,162 She wanted to be like the 2000 other girls who said that to me growing up? 857 00:55:36,334 --> 00:55:38,894 No. Self-hypnotic negative imagery. 858 00:55:39,403 --> 00:55:43,066 Confidence is the key to winning a young lady's attention. 859 00:55:43,941 --> 00:55:45,909 Now, listen to me very carefully. 860 00:55:46,077 --> 00:55:48,671 - Approach Miss Thing again. - No. 861 00:55:48,913 --> 00:55:49,937 With confidence. 862 00:55:50,114 --> 00:55:52,241 And if she says no this time... 863 00:55:52,416 --> 00:55:55,749 ...I will admit that I am a failure as a therapist... 864 00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,081 ...and release you from my program. 865 00:55:58,389 --> 00:56:00,619 You'll release me from your program? 866 00:56:09,934 --> 00:56:12,334 Just go over there and repeat the following... 867 00:56:12,937 --> 00:56:14,234 ...verbatim: 868 00:56:14,572 --> 00:56:17,006 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 869 00:56:17,174 --> 00:56:20,541 ...but it's difficult for me to express myself... 870 00:56:20,711 --> 00:56:24,670 ...when I'm on the verge of exploding in my pants. 871 00:56:28,753 --> 00:56:30,983 - Get out of here. - Trust me, Dave. 872 00:56:31,322 --> 00:56:34,723 If you are calm as well as witty, she will respond. 873 00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:38,293 Witty went out the window with the pants explosion thing, thanks. 874 00:56:38,829 --> 00:56:40,729 My offer stands. 875 00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:47,170 So if I repeat that crazy shit... 876 00:56:47,438 --> 00:56:51,499 ...you probably stole from a porno flick, you sick bastard... 877 00:56:51,976 --> 00:56:53,773 ...and get rejected... 878 00:56:54,011 --> 00:56:56,002 ...you'll release me from the program? 879 00:56:56,680 --> 00:56:57,680 Exactly. 880 00:56:58,349 --> 00:56:59,907 Here we go. 881 00:57:02,820 --> 00:57:04,845 Go get them, Mr. Johnson. 882 00:57:30,514 --> 00:57:34,974 I'm sorry I was so rude before... 883 00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:41,656 ...but it's difficult for me... 884 00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:46,291 ...to express myself... 885 00:57:59,944 --> 00:58:02,936 ...when I am on the verge... 886 00:58:05,516 --> 00:58:08,781 ...of exploding in my pants. 887 00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:15,250 You are too cute. 888 00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:17,426 Get the fuck out of here. 889 00:58:20,164 --> 00:58:22,155 - I'm Kendra. - I'm Dave. 890 00:58:22,433 --> 00:58:23,627 Let me buy you a drink. 891 00:58:25,102 --> 00:58:26,967 Can I get a cosmopolitan? 892 00:58:35,646 --> 00:58:37,341 I couldn't take it anymore... 893 00:58:37,548 --> 00:58:40,847 ...so finally I just tell my boss: 894 00:58:41,085 --> 00:58:45,112 "Hey, baldy, if I want crap out of you, I'll squeeze your head." 895 00:58:45,623 --> 00:58:49,457 - I didn't say that, but I should have. - You are so funny. 896 00:58:49,660 --> 00:58:52,629 Too bad you're leaving town. We could have fun together. 897 00:58:53,998 --> 00:58:56,660 Unfortunately, I am leaving in the morning. 898 00:58:56,834 --> 00:58:59,166 In fact, I think I gotta get back to my friend. 899 00:59:07,478 --> 00:59:08,502 What's the matter? 900 00:59:09,813 --> 00:59:12,008 - You gotta be kidding me. - What's wrong? 901 00:59:12,216 --> 00:59:14,081 My friend took off on me. 902 00:59:14,318 --> 00:59:16,149 I can give you a ride. 903 00:59:16,420 --> 00:59:18,251 I don't even know where the guy lives. 904 00:59:18,422 --> 00:59:21,448 We can hang out at my place until you get in touch with him. 905 00:59:28,899 --> 00:59:31,561 I bet there's like 50 Rydells in here. 906 00:59:31,769 --> 00:59:34,135 I shouldn't eat this. I'm getting so fat. 907 00:59:34,438 --> 00:59:36,065 What? You're not fat. 908 00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:39,004 My clothes hide it, but I'm getting gooey right here. 909 00:59:39,276 --> 00:59:40,709 I don't see any goo. 910 00:59:40,945 --> 00:59:43,436 You want to see goo, I'll show you my ass. 911 00:59:43,781 --> 00:59:46,682 Well, I see it, and I didn't five years ago. 912 00:59:46,850 --> 00:59:49,717 I went out with this guy, and he wouldn't sleep with me. 913 00:59:49,887 --> 00:59:53,880 And I asked him why, and he said that when he saw me without my clothes... 914 00:59:54,792 --> 00:59:56,487 ...that I look like a porker. 915 00:59:56,660 --> 01:00:00,289 He was probably just nervous because you're beautiful and.... 916 01:00:00,631 --> 01:00:03,657 Anyways, you're not a porker. You're the un-porker. 917 01:00:03,834 --> 01:00:05,699 You're Sizzlean. 918 01:00:08,539 --> 01:00:12,031 - You're so sweet, Dave. - Well, you're sweet, Kendra. 919 01:00:12,242 --> 01:00:16,269 Thanks for having me here. He said her name was Rose. 920 01:00:16,547 --> 01:00:17,946 Rose. 921 01:00:19,450 --> 01:00:22,283 Rose Rydell. Rose Rydell. Rose Rydell. 922 01:00:22,453 --> 01:00:24,648 Rose Rydell! I got it! 923 01:00:29,293 --> 01:00:30,293 Kendra... 924 01:00:31,395 --> 01:00:34,558 ...even though I'd love to see you take that bra off... 925 01:00:34,798 --> 01:00:39,098 ...because it represents a team I've hated my entire life... 926 01:00:39,503 --> 01:00:41,562 ...I think you gotta keep it on. 927 01:00:41,739 --> 01:00:42,831 Why? 928 01:00:43,741 --> 01:00:46,141 Because I got a girlfriend. 929 01:00:48,779 --> 01:00:50,906 I'm not a child, Dave. 930 01:00:51,115 --> 01:00:54,448 If you think I'm a porker, then just come right out and say it. 931 01:00:54,652 --> 01:00:56,347 No. I don't think you're a porker. 932 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:59,318 Then why when the idea of sleeping with me comes up... 933 01:00:59,490 --> 01:01:01,788 ...do you all of a sudden have a "girlfriend"? 934 01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:04,519 Because I do. I do. I have a girlfriend. 935 01:01:04,695 --> 01:01:06,595 Said the liar to the beached whale! 936 01:01:06,764 --> 01:01:08,197 You're not a beached whale. 937 01:01:08,365 --> 01:01:10,731 If anything, you could even gain a few pounds. 938 01:01:11,835 --> 01:01:14,235 So now I'm too skinny for you? 939 01:01:14,505 --> 01:01:15,802 No. I didn't mean that. 940 01:01:16,006 --> 01:01:18,998 - Is this what you want, Dave? - No. 941 01:01:19,243 --> 01:01:20,801 If I put on a few pounds... 942 01:01:20,978 --> 01:01:24,778 ...will you be able to stifle your vomit long enough to have sex with me?! 943 01:01:25,149 --> 01:01:26,480 Holy shit. 944 01:01:26,717 --> 01:01:30,050 Are you such a hot stud that you'll break me in two?! 945 01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:33,451 You're angry right now. Wanna sing? Do you know "I Feel Pretty"? 946 01:01:35,159 --> 01:01:36,956 - Get out! Get out! - Stop! 947 01:01:37,194 --> 01:01:38,320 Get out! 948 01:01:38,529 --> 01:01:40,292 Get out!! 949 01:01:40,831 --> 01:01:42,196 Porker! 950 01:01:42,399 --> 01:01:43,399 Fatty! 951 01:01:44,234 --> 01:01:46,225 No!! 952 01:01:59,650 --> 01:02:00,742 How did it go, pal? 953 01:02:00,951 --> 01:02:04,011 - Why'd you ditch me? - What are you talking about? 954 01:02:04,188 --> 01:02:05,746 You gave me the signal. 955 01:02:06,023 --> 01:02:08,048 I didn't give you the signal to leave. 956 01:02:08,225 --> 01:02:11,820 I gave you the signal to say your gross pickup line actually worked. 957 01:02:11,995 --> 01:02:13,929 Well, of course it did. 958 01:02:14,331 --> 01:02:17,767 So did Little Davey need some anger management? 959 01:02:17,935 --> 01:02:20,301 - That chick was killer. - Serial killer. 960 01:02:20,471 --> 01:02:22,939 She tried to chocolate me to death. 961 01:02:23,107 --> 01:02:25,166 Anyways, I don't cheat on Linda. 962 01:02:26,210 --> 01:02:29,646 - Speaking of Linda, she called earlier. - Oh, yeah? 963 01:02:29,913 --> 01:02:33,212 She seemed a little bit bent out of shape. 964 01:02:33,417 --> 01:02:36,750 - About what? - Your being out with another woman. 965 01:02:36,920 --> 01:02:39,980 - How would she know that? - I told her. 966 01:02:40,157 --> 01:02:42,489 - What else could I do? - What else could you do? 967 01:02:42,659 --> 01:02:47,153 You could've told her something else. I was at the bank. I was at the store. 968 01:02:47,331 --> 01:02:50,266 I ate bad guacamole and I couldn't stop shitting! 969 01:02:50,434 --> 01:02:52,265 Any of those would have been fine! 970 01:02:52,736 --> 01:02:55,500 Well, I'm sorry, Dave, but I don't lie for my patients. 971 01:02:55,672 --> 01:02:59,199 You want to leave your friend and run off and chase some hot babe... 972 01:02:59,476 --> 01:03:01,444 ...you can't expect me to cover for you. 973 01:03:01,612 --> 01:03:04,274 I did what you told me to do, you sick, demented man. 974 01:03:07,918 --> 01:03:09,408 What are you laughing at? 975 01:03:10,487 --> 01:03:11,977 What's so funny? 976 01:03:13,657 --> 01:03:18,424 Kendra is an ex-patient of mine, an actress. Pretty good one too. 977 01:03:18,595 --> 01:03:23,089 I arranged for her to be in the bar and for you to pick her up. 978 01:03:26,937 --> 01:03:28,199 You were messing with me? 979 01:03:28,372 --> 01:03:31,102 Yeah. You know, just a joke between friends... 980 01:03:31,275 --> 01:03:34,642 ...like the one you pulled on me about my dying mother. 981 01:03:34,812 --> 01:03:37,110 I told you I'd get you back for that. 982 01:03:38,315 --> 01:03:39,315 All right. 983 01:03:42,853 --> 01:03:45,048 So you really didn't talk to Linda. 984 01:03:45,422 --> 01:03:48,823 Of course I did. That's what made it so funny. 985 01:03:51,728 --> 01:03:53,025 Where's your phone? 986 01:03:53,263 --> 01:03:57,495 She's not home, Dave. She went out with her pal Andrea. 987 01:03:57,835 --> 01:04:00,269 She doesn't know any Andreas. You mean Andrew? 988 01:04:00,470 --> 01:04:05,134 Yeah, that's it. Andrew, the testicle with legs. 989 01:04:05,375 --> 01:04:07,866 "The testicle with legs." Great!! 990 01:04:08,045 --> 01:04:11,674 Now wait a minute. Calm down a bit. Try some deep breathing. 991 01:04:11,849 --> 01:04:14,784 Maybe just hum a little "I Feel Pretty." 992 01:04:15,018 --> 01:04:18,510 No!! How about you hum the "I'm a Crazy Asshole" song? 993 01:04:18,689 --> 01:04:21,419 And take me home, you psychotic piece of wacko. 994 01:04:22,326 --> 01:04:24,817 I never thought you'd take it like this. 995 01:04:35,806 --> 01:04:39,367 So, what, we're not going to talk at all? 996 01:04:42,045 --> 01:04:46,141 Would you forgive me if I told you I called Linda last night... 997 01:04:46,416 --> 01:04:49,977 ...after our little fracas and explained that it was my fault? 998 01:04:50,354 --> 01:04:51,354 What did she say? 999 01:04:51,588 --> 01:04:56,855 Well, she's not mad at you anymore, but she let me have it pretty good. 1000 01:04:57,060 --> 01:04:59,153 You deserved it. I did nothing wrong. 1001 01:04:59,329 --> 01:05:00,990 I know. I know. 1002 01:05:02,833 --> 01:05:03,833 Friends? 1003 01:05:06,436 --> 01:05:09,564 - Take a little nap. - I am tired. 1004 01:05:09,740 --> 01:05:11,571 Well, you had a rough night. 1005 01:05:25,355 --> 01:05:26,913 Stop with the cupcake! 1006 01:05:28,392 --> 01:05:31,361 Rise and shine, Sir Snoozola. 1007 01:05:32,195 --> 01:05:34,163 What's going on? Where are we? 1008 01:05:34,331 --> 01:05:37,129 Well, at a great deal of expense and effort... 1009 01:05:37,301 --> 01:05:40,896 ...we have managed to locate your grade school b�te noire... 1010 01:05:41,071 --> 01:05:42,071 ...Arnie Shankman. 1011 01:05:42,239 --> 01:05:45,436 We do desire a confrontation with him, do we not? 1012 01:05:46,209 --> 01:05:49,440 What? Do you mean the kid who bullied me in fifth grade? 1013 01:05:49,613 --> 01:05:53,606 Dave, I think it's pivotal for you to confront your childhood nemesis. 1014 01:05:53,951 --> 01:05:57,478 Remember, for 22 more days, you are mine. 1015 01:05:59,323 --> 01:06:01,086 This is where Arnie Shankman lives? 1016 01:06:05,295 --> 01:06:08,389 You're kidding me. You're going to make me confront a monk. 1017 01:06:09,733 --> 01:06:10,893 Great. 1018 01:06:16,807 --> 01:06:19,640 Are you ashamed that you never stood up to him? 1019 01:06:19,810 --> 01:06:21,641 No. He was just a kid lashing out... 1020 01:06:21,812 --> 01:06:24,337 ...because his sister got sent to an insane asylum. 1021 01:06:24,514 --> 01:06:27,074 I'm surprised your research didn't tell you that. 1022 01:06:28,185 --> 01:06:29,584 This doesn't look like him. 1023 01:06:32,656 --> 01:06:34,749 Excuse me, Arnie Shankman? 1024 01:06:35,993 --> 01:06:38,655 Sorry about waking you up. 1025 01:06:39,429 --> 01:06:41,829 My name is Pana Kamanana... 1026 01:06:42,332 --> 01:06:45,460 ...but, yes, I was once known as Arnie Shankman. 1027 01:06:45,836 --> 01:06:46,996 Arnie.... 1028 01:06:47,170 --> 01:06:49,661 Pana Kamanana... 1029 01:06:50,107 --> 01:06:52,302 ...Dave Buznik from elementary school. 1030 01:06:53,777 --> 01:06:55,711 David Buznik. 1031 01:06:56,013 --> 01:06:58,982 This is the last place I thought I'd find you, a monastery. 1032 01:06:59,149 --> 01:07:02,744 You could say I've gone through a rather dramatic transformation. 1033 01:07:02,919 --> 01:07:05,149 Could you excuse him for a second, Peanuts? 1034 01:07:07,190 --> 01:07:09,420 His name's not Peanuts. It's Pana Manapia. 1035 01:07:09,593 --> 01:07:13,029 You want me to fight a monk? He's not even allowed to hurt a plant. 1036 01:07:13,196 --> 01:07:16,632 For Pete's sake, this is the monk that twisted your tits! 1037 01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,234 Confront him or you're going to prison! 1038 01:07:19,469 --> 01:07:21,994 All right. All right. All right. 1039 01:07:27,611 --> 01:07:30,774 Anyways, what I wanted to say to you was... 1040 01:07:31,148 --> 01:07:35,312 ...when we were kids, you kind of bullied me around a little bit... 1041 01:07:35,485 --> 01:07:39,888 ...and I never really did anything to deserve that kind of treatment. 1042 01:07:40,123 --> 01:07:42,591 Of course not. I was a real cretin then. 1043 01:07:42,826 --> 01:07:45,226 I did a lot of horrible things as a kid. 1044 01:07:45,395 --> 01:07:48,660 I pushed you around. I called you nasty names. 1045 01:07:48,932 --> 01:07:51,662 You pulled my gym shorts down in front of Sara Plowman. 1046 01:07:53,270 --> 01:07:55,830 That actually was pretty funny. 1047 01:07:56,339 --> 01:07:58,500 Jeez, I don't think that it was. 1048 01:07:58,742 --> 01:08:01,939 Now, come, David. Humor is the spice of life. 1049 01:08:02,179 --> 01:08:04,147 The look on your face was priceless. 1050 01:08:04,681 --> 01:08:07,206 "Oh! Sara saw my pee-pee!" 1051 01:08:08,285 --> 01:08:10,913 So Pena likes the spicy humor. 1052 01:08:11,121 --> 01:08:15,114 Maybe he'd enjoy the knee-slapper you told me about the great Buddha. 1053 01:08:15,292 --> 01:08:16,850 What did you say about Buddha? 1054 01:08:17,027 --> 01:08:20,656 Dave said, "How does a guy who weighs over 600 pounds... 1055 01:08:20,831 --> 01:08:23,959 ...have the balls to teach people about self-discipline?" 1056 01:08:25,135 --> 01:08:26,966 Let's not make fun of my God, here. 1057 01:08:27,137 --> 01:08:30,698 You know what else Dave finds particularly piquant? 1058 01:08:30,941 --> 01:08:34,502 Recalling your nut-job sister struggling with her underpants... 1059 01:08:34,678 --> 01:08:35,736 ...in a straitjacket. 1060 01:08:35,912 --> 01:08:37,243 You think that's funny? 1061 01:08:37,414 --> 01:08:39,507 Dave used to con her into getting naked... 1062 01:08:39,683 --> 01:08:42,447 ...by saying that her clothes had ghosts in them. 1063 01:08:42,619 --> 01:08:43,847 That never happened. 1064 01:08:44,020 --> 01:08:46,113 Then he'd pull out his winkie and tell her... 1065 01:08:46,289 --> 01:08:48,951 ...it was a strawberry ice-cream cone. 1066 01:08:50,026 --> 01:08:52,756 Is that what you've come here to tell me? 1067 01:08:52,929 --> 01:08:55,796 Did you expose yourself... 1068 01:08:56,099 --> 01:08:57,293 ...to my sister? 1069 01:08:59,269 --> 01:09:03,603 - And don't shove me again. - It's shower-room humiliation again. 1070 01:09:03,773 --> 01:09:07,265 He's giving you a wet willie and making you chew on his jockstrap... 1071 01:09:07,444 --> 01:09:09,378 ...and fart blossom and all this. 1072 01:09:10,080 --> 01:09:14,517 Answer me, Buznik! Did you get it on with my sister? 1073 01:09:16,286 --> 01:09:18,277 Over and over again. 1074 01:09:19,656 --> 01:09:22,625 And she moaned like a wildebeest. 1075 01:09:22,792 --> 01:09:24,760 Wildebeest. 1076 01:09:27,998 --> 01:09:29,932 Whoo! Now, that felt good! 1077 01:09:30,100 --> 01:09:32,193 I wasn't expecting that from a Buddhist. 1078 01:09:33,503 --> 01:09:36,995 - I'm a little pissed off right now. - You all right? You're all right. 1079 01:09:42,445 --> 01:09:44,572 David! David! No, David! 1080 01:09:44,748 --> 01:09:46,375 Easy, boy! 1081 01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:47,915 Sorry. 1082 01:09:49,019 --> 01:09:50,179 Help me, brother. 1083 01:09:50,387 --> 01:09:52,947 - Help me. - Okay. Come on. Come on. 1084 01:09:53,256 --> 01:09:55,918 Okay, we're even. We're even now. 1085 01:09:56,193 --> 01:09:58,718 - I went crazy. I'm so sorry. - I started it. 1086 01:09:58,895 --> 01:10:00,419 - I started it. - It's all right. 1087 01:10:00,597 --> 01:10:02,360 And I'm gonna finish it! 1088 01:10:03,633 --> 01:10:05,601 Now we're even, butt-lick! 1089 01:10:05,969 --> 01:10:07,960 No! Don't! Don't! Don't! 1090 01:10:08,138 --> 01:10:11,869 "What's that, Auntie Em? It's a twister!" 1091 01:10:12,142 --> 01:10:13,666 My nipples! 1092 01:10:13,843 --> 01:10:16,471 Pena! Look! Your sister's back. 1093 01:10:16,646 --> 01:10:19,046 I got Casper in my clothes! 1094 01:10:21,218 --> 01:10:23,550 - Pretty good. - Thanks, baby. 1095 01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:24,720 I'll kill you! 1096 01:10:25,655 --> 01:10:27,589 You want that rake? 1097 01:10:27,757 --> 01:10:30,385 You can't get that rake from me! 1098 01:10:30,560 --> 01:10:32,027 Look, everybody! 1099 01:10:32,195 --> 01:10:34,163 Pana Banana's got a heinie. 1100 01:10:34,397 --> 01:10:36,661 - He's got a heinie! - I give! 1101 01:10:36,833 --> 01:10:38,528 - I give! - All right. I'm sorry. 1102 01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:42,166 - Friends? - You suck! 1103 01:10:45,242 --> 01:10:46,242 Shankman! 1104 01:10:46,409 --> 01:10:48,900 Wedgie! Wedgie! Wedgie! 1105 01:10:49,112 --> 01:10:51,205 - I've seen enough. - Hold it right there. 1106 01:10:51,381 --> 01:10:53,611 This party's by invitation only. 1107 01:10:57,554 --> 01:10:59,784 Pow! Pow! Pow! Pow! 1108 01:11:06,162 --> 01:11:08,153 Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 1109 01:11:14,304 --> 01:11:16,397 Hold it back there! Come on, come on. 1110 01:11:16,573 --> 01:11:17,631 Start the car! 1111 01:11:17,807 --> 01:11:19,900 Go! Go! Go! Come on, let's go! 1112 01:11:20,076 --> 01:11:22,169 Now! Now! Now! Now! 1113 01:11:29,152 --> 01:11:30,312 Oh, boy! 1114 01:11:30,487 --> 01:11:32,318 We were like Butch and Sundance! 1115 01:11:32,489 --> 01:11:35,947 Oh, my God! I thought you were going to shoot somebody! 1116 01:11:40,030 --> 01:11:43,090 You really threw me some curves back there, kid. 1117 01:11:43,266 --> 01:11:45,996 I never expected it to go that way. 1118 01:11:46,436 --> 01:11:49,166 But you kicked some serious monk ass there, baby. 1119 01:11:49,339 --> 01:11:51,034 You're damn right, baby! 1120 01:11:51,274 --> 01:11:54,766 - How did it feel? - I feel good! I feel incredible! 1121 01:11:55,011 --> 01:11:59,107 I feel bad about molesting his sister all those times, but it's all right! 1122 01:11:59,949 --> 01:12:03,885 - You really molested a crazy girl? - No. Got you. 1123 01:12:06,222 --> 01:12:09,623 Congratulations, keed, you've reached level three 1124 01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:16,528 I would never have done anything with that girl. 1125 01:12:16,700 --> 01:12:21,228 Don't worry. Dr. Rydell explained everything to me, and I get it. 1126 01:12:21,404 --> 01:12:26,467 Dr. Rydell brought up an interesting fact about me being a procrastinator. 1127 01:12:26,643 --> 01:12:29,874 ...and I was going to wait for a Yankee game to do this. 1128 01:12:30,046 --> 01:12:31,240 ...but.... 1129 01:12:31,481 --> 01:12:35,474 I don't know. I.... It's something I wanted to say to you... 1130 01:12:35,685 --> 01:12:39,416 ...and I'm having a hard time saying it for some reason. But.... 1131 01:12:41,758 --> 01:12:45,819 It's just that monks, they talk shit... 1132 01:12:45,995 --> 01:12:47,792 ...but they can't back it up. 1133 01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,469 That's what was so hard to say to me? 1134 01:12:59,075 --> 01:13:03,512 You know, when I was on the phone with Buddy, he gave me some advice. 1135 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:07,616 That's great. His advice is a little cuckoo... 1136 01:13:07,851 --> 01:13:09,751 ...but somehow it works. 1137 01:13:09,919 --> 01:13:13,082 Well, then I guess I'll just do what he suggested. 1138 01:13:16,760 --> 01:13:19,729 I don't think that we should see each other for a while. 1139 01:13:20,597 --> 01:13:24,795 Buddy thinks that a trial separation will ultimately... 1140 01:13:25,835 --> 01:13:28,030 ...strengthen our relationship. 1141 01:13:34,544 --> 01:13:36,171 Now, Fury Fighters... 1142 01:13:36,346 --> 01:13:39,577 ...what keys do we need to possess before we can...? 1143 01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:41,114 Dave. You're late. 1144 01:13:41,284 --> 01:13:44,219 - Can I talk to you alone, please? - Sure you can... 1145 01:13:53,463 --> 01:13:56,227 You told Linda we should have a trial separation? 1146 01:13:56,433 --> 01:13:57,730 - Yes. - Yes?! 1147 01:13:57,967 --> 01:13:59,093 Yes! 1148 01:13:59,369 --> 01:14:02,998 Separating from Linda is a crucial part of our strategy. 1149 01:14:03,173 --> 01:14:05,403 My strategy is to keep my girlfriend. 1150 01:14:05,675 --> 01:14:08,838 All right. Strictly as a friend. 1151 01:14:09,379 --> 01:14:12,075 Linda's been thinking about leaving you for some time. 1152 01:14:12,582 --> 01:14:15,915 She loves you, but she recognizes you're a neurotic mess. 1153 01:14:16,186 --> 01:14:17,186 You're jealous... 1154 01:14:17,353 --> 01:14:21,551 ...self-loathing, resentful, insecure and a premature ejaculator. 1155 01:14:21,925 --> 01:14:24,155 She told you I was a premature ejaculator? 1156 01:14:24,327 --> 01:14:25,692 That part I was assuming. 1157 01:14:26,329 --> 01:14:28,627 I haven't done that in, like, eight months. 1158 01:14:28,798 --> 01:14:34,259 Anyway, a trial separation will make you both gain a deeper appreciation... 1159 01:14:34,504 --> 01:14:36,597 ...for David Buznik. 1160 01:14:37,173 --> 01:14:41,269 After she dates a couple of losers, she'll be begging you to take her back. 1161 01:14:46,115 --> 01:14:50,552 So I've been thinking about it, Linda... 1162 01:14:50,854 --> 01:14:55,348 ...and a trial separation is exactly what we need. 1163 01:14:55,558 --> 01:14:58,618 And if you want to start seeing... 1164 01:14:58,862 --> 01:15:01,558 ...other penises... People... 1165 01:15:04,400 --> 01:15:06,095 ...I want you to feel free. 1166 01:15:06,302 --> 01:15:08,270 You sound upset. Are you all right? 1167 01:15:10,607 --> 01:15:15,442 I'm fine. Just date anybody you'd like. 1168 01:15:15,645 --> 01:15:17,545 And don't hold back, okay? 1169 01:15:17,780 --> 01:15:21,944 Because there's a lot of nice guys out there and I'm cool with it. 1170 01:15:22,151 --> 01:15:23,709 I'll be strong. 1171 01:15:27,090 --> 01:15:30,184 So the guy asked me for change. I laughed. He cursed. 1172 01:15:30,360 --> 01:15:31,418 I whizzed on him. 1173 01:15:32,061 --> 01:15:35,258 - What else could I do, huh? - You should've tossed a rock at him. 1174 01:15:35,498 --> 01:15:38,729 That's your solution for everything. The guy's homeless, right? 1175 01:15:38,968 --> 01:15:40,731 Let him be. Set your anger free. 1176 01:15:41,237 --> 01:15:45,139 Look at you, Lou. You've really calmed down since working with Dr. B. 1177 01:15:45,308 --> 01:15:47,242 - We all have. - Hey, fellas. 1178 01:15:47,844 --> 01:15:49,903 Could you bring it down a little bit? 1179 01:15:50,079 --> 01:15:52,912 We're trying to have dinner. The walls are really thin. 1180 01:15:53,082 --> 01:15:55,846 - This is a free country! - What's going on with you?! 1181 01:15:56,119 --> 01:15:58,280 - Are you crazy?! - Go in! Just go in. 1182 01:16:00,323 --> 01:16:02,291 Goosfraba! Goosfraba! 1183 01:16:02,458 --> 01:16:05,518 Goosfraba. 1184 01:16:05,795 --> 01:16:08,320 Very good. What are you guys doing here? 1185 01:16:08,531 --> 01:16:10,829 I need to see Dr. B. I'm in crisis. 1186 01:16:11,034 --> 01:16:13,662 He's not here. Why don't you go look for him? 1187 01:16:13,836 --> 01:16:18,296 Davey, your girlfriend stopped by and she dropped these off for you. 1188 01:16:19,542 --> 01:16:21,942 Those are her keys to my apartment. 1189 01:16:22,111 --> 01:16:24,341 I think your girlfriend's cheating on you. 1190 01:16:24,681 --> 01:16:27,343 - Why? - I heard her on her cell phone... 1191 01:16:27,517 --> 01:16:29,212 ...talking to a guy... 1192 01:16:29,719 --> 01:16:32,984 - ...making a date. - I'm so sorry, Dave. 1193 01:16:33,389 --> 01:16:34,822 Andrew. 1194 01:16:35,058 --> 01:16:36,252 I'll kill that guy. 1195 01:16:37,827 --> 01:16:41,160 She ain't cheating on me by the way. We agreed to take a break. 1196 01:16:41,331 --> 01:16:44,823 She's not taking a break from the old sausage, huh? 1197 01:16:45,401 --> 01:16:46,401 Sorry. 1198 01:16:46,669 --> 01:16:49,433 She's meeting the Andrew at Mort's on 86th Street now... 1199 01:16:49,606 --> 01:16:50,868 ...if you want to go watch. 1200 01:16:52,875 --> 01:16:55,207 No. No, I can't do that. 1201 01:17:00,850 --> 01:17:01,850 We're here. 1202 01:17:02,452 --> 01:17:05,615 - Both of you showed up? - You like Stacy better or something? 1203 01:17:05,788 --> 01:17:09,952 It's just that I want to go on a fake date to get my girlfriend jealous... 1204 01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:12,287 ...so I really only needed one of you guys. 1205 01:17:12,528 --> 01:17:14,462 Well, now she'll be twice as jealous. 1206 01:17:14,697 --> 01:17:17,791 - So do you know the guy she's with? - I think I might. 1207 01:17:17,967 --> 01:17:19,264 Let me ask you something. 1208 01:17:19,435 --> 01:17:23,633 Because of your profession you probably have seen a lot of them. 1209 01:17:23,806 --> 01:17:28,140 Does size count at all, or is that just some weird thing guys think about? 1210 01:17:28,311 --> 01:17:31,178 This is where Gina and I always get into a heated debate. 1211 01:17:31,347 --> 01:17:33,178 I like them when they're really big. 1212 01:17:33,349 --> 01:17:36,045 And I think it's better when they're enormous. 1213 01:17:43,126 --> 01:17:44,525 Good evening. 1214 01:17:44,694 --> 01:17:46,821 Table for three? 1215 01:17:46,996 --> 01:17:49,863 - May we take your coats? - No. We're okay. 1216 01:17:50,033 --> 01:17:52,365 The girls are gonna take their coats off. 1217 01:17:52,535 --> 01:17:54,696 Would you like a boobs...? Booth? 1218 01:17:58,307 --> 01:18:02,505 Actually, could you give us a table overlooking that table right there? 1219 01:18:02,679 --> 01:18:04,647 - Sure. Right this way. - Thank you. 1220 01:18:08,384 --> 01:18:11,410 Oh, my God. It's Stacy and Gina. 1221 01:18:11,587 --> 01:18:12,986 Who? 1222 01:18:13,156 --> 01:18:14,680 Nobody. 1223 01:18:14,891 --> 01:18:17,121 I'm so hungry I could eat you, Dave. 1224 01:18:17,460 --> 01:18:18,950 Yummy. Yummy. 1225 01:18:20,263 --> 01:18:22,788 - Let's get wasted tonight. - Definitely. 1226 01:18:22,965 --> 01:18:26,128 Have fun. Lucky son of a bitch. 1227 01:18:28,337 --> 01:18:30,237 What? 1228 01:18:32,241 --> 01:18:33,936 I can't believe this. 1229 01:18:34,110 --> 01:18:35,441 Excuse me. 1230 01:18:35,611 --> 01:18:40,275 Linda. I'm a little embarrassed. I didn't know you were going to be here. 1231 01:18:40,483 --> 01:18:42,917 I guess not. Are those your friends? 1232 01:18:43,086 --> 01:18:46,852 I'm supposed to date other people so I figured I'd give it a try. 1233 01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:54,852 Gina, can you stop sucking on Stacy's finger for one second? 1234 01:18:55,031 --> 01:18:57,192 I want to introduce you to somebody. 1235 01:18:57,767 --> 01:19:01,100 - Stacy, Gina, this is Linda. - Nice to meet you. 1236 01:19:01,370 --> 01:19:04,032 And I'd like you to meet my date. 1237 01:19:04,607 --> 01:19:07,371 Ladies, this is Buddy Rydell. 1238 01:19:07,910 --> 01:19:10,640 - Look, Dave, it's Buddy. - I see. 1239 01:19:10,813 --> 01:19:13,748 - You know Stacy and Gina? - Yes, yes, I do. 1240 01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:16,646 We're in Dave's anger group. Fury Fighters! 1241 01:19:18,254 --> 01:19:20,848 Well, gee whiz. Here's your R�my, Linda. 1242 01:19:21,057 --> 01:19:22,991 This is a bit awkward. 1243 01:19:23,159 --> 01:19:24,717 I mean, group members... 1244 01:19:24,894 --> 01:19:27,328 ...are not supposed to get romantically involved. 1245 01:19:27,497 --> 01:19:30,432 - Yeah! I agree with that. - You know that. 1246 01:19:30,600 --> 01:19:33,694 I'd like to talk to you alone for a second. 1247 01:19:33,870 --> 01:19:37,601 There's a rage control technique I'd like to go over with you right now. 1248 01:19:37,774 --> 01:19:39,435 Of course. Excuse me... 1249 01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:42,001 What? 1250 01:19:44,013 --> 01:19:46,447 - Two of the usual, Duke. - Coming right up, Dr. B. 1251 01:19:46,616 --> 01:19:49,483 You're the biggest backstabbing piece of crap I ever met. 1252 01:19:50,453 --> 01:19:51,613 What are you saying? 1253 01:19:51,788 --> 01:19:54,018 I'm trying to give you a hand. It's my job. 1254 01:19:54,190 --> 01:19:56,818 Bullshit! Your job is to steal my girlfriend?! 1255 01:19:57,026 --> 01:19:59,358 My job is trying to prevent Mr. Andrew... 1256 01:19:59,529 --> 01:20:02,464 ...from unleashing the Whopper with Cheese. 1257 01:20:02,965 --> 01:20:05,661 That's right. Since you've been out of the picture... 1258 01:20:05,835 --> 01:20:08,531 ...Andrew's been burning up the wires night and day... 1259 01:20:08,805 --> 01:20:12,297 ...trying to rekindle those hotsie-totsie nights up at Brown U. 1260 01:20:12,475 --> 01:20:15,342 - How would you know? - You think I only tapped your phone? 1261 01:20:15,545 --> 01:20:17,012 What was she saying? 1262 01:20:17,213 --> 01:20:20,979 The good news is, I already launched a preemptive strike. 1263 01:20:21,150 --> 01:20:23,983 Now the situation is contained. 1264 01:20:24,153 --> 01:20:26,144 You and I control the game. 1265 01:20:26,389 --> 01:20:27,389 How? 1266 01:20:27,557 --> 01:20:30,890 I will be uncharacteristically aggressively boring. 1267 01:20:31,060 --> 01:20:34,996 I keep talking about myself, acting arrogant and obnoxious. 1268 01:20:35,331 --> 01:20:38,164 When Linda sees what the dating world is really like... 1269 01:20:38,334 --> 01:20:41,997 ...then guess who comes out smelling like a white mushroom? 1270 01:20:45,908 --> 01:20:49,344 - You swear to me this will work? - The ball's already up in the air. 1271 01:20:49,679 --> 01:20:52,512 Incidentally, nice move bringing the girls. 1272 01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:56,174 Very strong. Come on. 1273 01:20:56,352 --> 01:20:59,048 I'll see you at home in a half-hour, keed. 1274 01:21:01,691 --> 01:21:04,091 That's 25 dollars, pal. 1275 01:21:04,327 --> 01:21:06,022 We don't.... 1276 01:21:40,129 --> 01:21:41,960 Where were you? It's 1:00. 1277 01:21:42,198 --> 01:21:46,328 When you hear what happened, you'll bow down and worship me like a god. 1278 01:21:46,502 --> 01:21:48,629 - Better be good. Give it to me. - Okay. 1279 01:21:48,804 --> 01:21:51,864 After dinner, she insisted we go home. So we hop on the bus... 1280 01:21:52,041 --> 01:21:54,601 The bus? You took the bus? What happened to your car? 1281 01:21:54,777 --> 01:21:56,404 I was way too smashed to drive. 1282 01:21:56,579 --> 01:22:01,812 I told her I didn't want to waste money on a cab. That did not go down well. 1283 01:22:02,885 --> 01:22:04,375 Okay. I like that. 1284 01:22:04,553 --> 01:22:06,714 So we get to her house... 1285 01:22:07,056 --> 01:22:10,219 ...we have some kind of a weird argument... 1286 01:22:10,393 --> 01:22:13,726 ...about the number of syllables in a haiku. 1287 01:22:13,896 --> 01:22:15,261 Poetry garbage. 1288 01:22:15,531 --> 01:22:18,830 She said it was getting late, we kissed and I headed on home. 1289 01:22:19,869 --> 01:22:22,702 Now, you say you kissed? 1290 01:22:22,905 --> 01:22:25,567 It was nothing. Little five-second kiss. That's all. 1291 01:22:25,741 --> 01:22:27,231 Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 1292 01:22:27,476 --> 01:22:29,967 You're having this horrible evening. 1293 01:22:30,146 --> 01:22:33,582 - How do you end up kissing, again? - I wish I knew, keed. 1294 01:22:33,749 --> 01:22:36,343 We were both pretty geezed up. 1295 01:22:36,585 --> 01:22:40,419 One second we're fighting, and the next second we're laughing... 1296 01:22:40,656 --> 01:22:42,988 ...and then just a quick 10-second kiss. 1297 01:22:43,159 --> 01:22:45,627 I thought that you said five seconds. 1298 01:22:45,795 --> 01:22:47,456 First it was a five-second one... 1299 01:22:47,630 --> 01:22:50,997 ...and then a little break because my beard gave her a tickle. 1300 01:22:51,334 --> 01:22:54,132 She's cute. And then a 10-second Frencher. 1301 01:22:55,271 --> 01:22:59,503 You had your crazy, corroded tongue in my girlfriend's mouth? 1302 01:23:01,210 --> 01:23:04,043 Just a second. Just one second, Dave. 1303 01:23:04,347 --> 01:23:07,077 Dr. B, let it bip. 1304 01:23:07,750 --> 01:23:09,843 Well, hello. 1305 01:23:11,754 --> 01:23:14,018 I shouldn't really talk right now. 1306 01:23:14,690 --> 01:23:17,352 Well, I suppose you're right. 1307 01:23:18,761 --> 01:23:20,592 It's got to be done. 1308 01:23:22,198 --> 01:23:23,426 Who was that? Linda? 1309 01:23:27,603 --> 01:23:31,699 I've got some good news for you and some potentially upsetting news. 1310 01:23:31,874 --> 01:23:33,705 First, the good news. 1311 01:23:33,876 --> 01:23:36,538 I'm going to sign your papers. You're a free man. 1312 01:23:36,712 --> 01:23:38,942 Let me hear the potentially upsetting news. 1313 01:23:40,116 --> 01:23:43,608 Linda and I have fallen for one another. 1314 01:23:43,786 --> 01:23:45,219 Pretty hard too. 1315 01:23:45,554 --> 01:23:48,614 David, I hope you believe me when I say this: 1316 01:23:48,791 --> 01:23:50,622 I didn't intend for this to happen. 1317 01:23:50,793 --> 01:23:53,557 It was no one's fault, I guess. It was just... 1318 01:23:53,729 --> 01:23:55,287 Wait a minute. 1319 01:23:59,402 --> 01:24:01,336 I figured this out. 1320 01:24:08,310 --> 01:24:09,743 You're messing with me. 1321 01:24:10,446 --> 01:24:12,141 I wish I were, Dave. 1322 01:24:12,648 --> 01:24:17,483 However, I did insist that we not go forward without your blessing... 1323 01:24:17,653 --> 01:24:22,590 ...because we're best friends. So, what do you say, Dave? 1324 01:24:23,159 --> 01:24:25,992 Is it all right if I date your ex? 1325 01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:31,991 Welcome back, Mr. Buznik. 1326 01:24:32,168 --> 01:24:34,830 I am appalled by your assault on Dr. Rydell. 1327 01:24:35,004 --> 01:24:38,405 Obviously, anger management has been a complete failure for you. 1328 01:24:38,574 --> 01:24:42,533 I'm setting a trial date for 3 weeks from today for attempted murder. 1329 01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:46,477 As for Dr. Rydell's safety, I'm issuing a restraining order. 1330 01:24:46,649 --> 01:24:49,982 Which means that at no time can you come within 500 feet of him... 1331 01:24:50,152 --> 01:24:52,518 ...or his lovely new girlfriend, Linda. 1332 01:24:52,688 --> 01:24:54,417 Court is adjourned. 1333 01:25:13,442 --> 01:25:15,171 Coming, Peaches. 1334 01:25:23,786 --> 01:25:25,481 Are you kidding me? 1335 01:25:31,260 --> 01:25:34,286 Numb-nuts, where's the catalog for my Fat Cat clothing line? 1336 01:25:34,463 --> 01:25:35,930 I said I'd have it by 3. 1337 01:25:37,533 --> 01:25:39,763 - Okay. - Get in gear. 1338 01:25:43,405 --> 01:25:44,838 I'm so sorry I'm late. 1339 01:25:45,007 --> 01:25:47,669 I hope you have it. My presentation's in two hours. 1340 01:25:47,843 --> 01:25:50,937 What's this? Your fat-shit cat's been sitting there all day. 1341 01:25:51,213 --> 01:25:52,646 Don't worry about him. 1342 01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:55,716 Here you go. I think you're gonna like it. 1343 01:26:03,159 --> 01:26:04,183 It's good stuff. 1344 01:26:04,960 --> 01:26:06,928 That's a good picture, I think. 1345 01:26:08,764 --> 01:26:10,095 What the hell is this?! 1346 01:26:10,266 --> 01:26:13,326 You keep telling everybody you created the Husky Cat line. 1347 01:26:13,569 --> 01:26:16,003 I thought you'd want your picture in there. No? 1348 01:26:16,172 --> 01:26:18,470 Question: Can I get two couches in my office? 1349 01:26:18,641 --> 01:26:21,269 If friends come over, I want them to feel comfortable. 1350 01:26:21,443 --> 01:26:22,501 What office? 1351 01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:27,047 Frank was nice enough to give me some creative executive position. 1352 01:26:28,951 --> 01:26:31,920 - You gave him the job that I wanted? - He earned it. 1353 01:26:32,087 --> 01:26:34,555 Why can't you be happy for me? Linda's gonna be. 1354 01:26:34,823 --> 01:26:37,587 Know something? I'm sick of you hanging out with Linda. 1355 01:26:37,760 --> 01:26:40,251 She dumped you 15 years ago. Get over it. 1356 01:26:40,429 --> 01:26:41,828 I wouldn't worry about me. 1357 01:26:41,997 --> 01:26:45,194 It's your pal Buddy who's taking her to the Yankee game tonight. 1358 01:26:45,968 --> 01:26:47,401 Yankee game. 1359 01:26:48,671 --> 01:26:50,832 Did he steal my proposal idea? 1360 01:26:51,507 --> 01:26:54,135 Buznik, your behavior is unacceptable. 1361 01:26:55,344 --> 01:26:57,175 Unacceptable? 1362 01:26:57,846 --> 01:27:02,840 I've been getting your coffee and doing your work for five years now. 1363 01:27:03,018 --> 01:27:05,145 When a good position actually opens up... 1364 01:27:05,387 --> 01:27:07,787 ...you give it to the biggest dick in the world? 1365 01:27:07,957 --> 01:27:11,893 I don't know about the world, but it's definitely the biggest one in the room. 1366 01:27:13,262 --> 01:27:15,924 Now, when I started here... 1367 01:27:16,131 --> 01:27:19,100 ...I was promised advancement opportunities. 1368 01:27:19,301 --> 01:27:22,429 And breaking that promise, to me, is unacceptable. 1369 01:27:24,240 --> 01:27:27,334 You see? I golf also. You should bring me sometime. 1370 01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:31,808 So when I get out of jail, sometime in the next two to five years... 1371 01:27:31,981 --> 01:27:36,748 ...I expect you to give me the position that Andrew just resigned from. 1372 01:27:37,453 --> 01:27:39,717 - Okay. - Great. 1373 01:27:39,922 --> 01:27:42,049 Have fun looking like Colonel Klink. 1374 01:27:44,693 --> 01:27:48,254 By the way, his name is not Fat-shit Cat, it's Meatball... 1375 01:27:48,430 --> 01:27:51,092 ...and he's eating your crab cakes right now. 1376 01:27:57,039 --> 01:28:00,941 - You starting to get excited? - Are you kidding? I'm out of my mind. 1377 01:28:01,110 --> 01:28:02,771 This is going to be some night. 1378 01:28:05,614 --> 01:28:07,343 Come on. Come on. 1379 01:28:17,192 --> 01:28:20,389 - Dr. B, how's it going? - Very well, thank you. 1380 01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:23,056 Always a thrill. Right this way. 1381 01:28:26,201 --> 01:28:28,362 Where the hell's a spot? Where's a spot? 1382 01:28:29,672 --> 01:28:30,764 Whoa! Watch it, man! 1383 01:28:30,939 --> 01:28:31,106 Your attention, please. 1384 01:28:31,107 --> 01:28:32,539 Your attention, please. 1385 01:28:32,708 --> 01:28:34,539 Before tonight's National Anthem... 1386 01:28:34,710 --> 01:28:37,770 ...Metropolitan Opera star Robert Merrill... 1387 01:28:37,946 --> 01:28:42,713 ...will present a special moment for two special people. 1388 01:28:42,951 --> 01:28:44,942 I love when they do this. 1389 01:28:45,954 --> 01:28:49,651 - Good. - Ladies and gentlemen, Robert Merrill. 1390 01:29:04,707 --> 01:29:06,698 Linda?! Linda! 1391 01:29:24,893 --> 01:29:27,794 What the hell do you think you're doing? 1392 01:29:28,731 --> 01:29:30,221 Wait, don't I know you? 1393 01:29:30,399 --> 01:29:32,333 - Come on. - Where's your German accent? 1394 01:29:37,072 --> 01:29:38,937 You have me confused with somebody... 1395 01:29:39,108 --> 01:29:41,770 I wanna get on the field. I'm a fan of Mr. Merrill's. 1396 01:29:41,944 --> 01:29:44,572 - There's no fans allowed on that field. - Galaxia. 1397 01:29:45,647 --> 01:29:46,647 It's Gary. 1398 01:29:46,815 --> 01:29:50,478 Whatever. Someone else will marry my woman if you don't let me go. 1399 01:29:51,987 --> 01:29:55,081 - Hebrew Melvin's in love. - Very much. 1400 01:29:56,658 --> 01:29:58,751 I can't stop love. 1401 01:29:58,994 --> 01:30:00,757 - Go. - Thank you. 1402 01:30:02,264 --> 01:30:05,529 Don't think I don't owe you a couple smacks by the way. 1403 01:30:06,635 --> 01:30:10,469 Good evening. Tonight, romance comes to Yankee Stadium. 1404 01:30:12,708 --> 01:30:15,040 Oh, my God, it's Dave. 1405 01:30:15,544 --> 01:30:17,341 What the heck are you doing here? 1406 01:30:17,579 --> 01:30:20,013 - I wanna borrow this for a second. - That's my mike! 1407 01:30:20,182 --> 01:30:21,672 Linda? Where are you? 1408 01:30:22,384 --> 01:30:23,681 Don't move. 1409 01:30:24,119 --> 01:30:26,610 Linda? Are you out there, honey? 1410 01:30:28,190 --> 01:30:30,215 Linda, I'm not mad at you. 1411 01:30:33,462 --> 01:30:34,622 Oh, shit. 1412 01:30:37,199 --> 01:30:39,224 I know that crazy man brought you here. 1413 01:30:41,437 --> 01:30:43,371 Davey's going crazy! 1414 01:30:43,539 --> 01:30:46,303 I've done crazier stuff than that to win back a chick. 1415 01:30:46,475 --> 01:30:48,568 Once I ran naked through a subway station. 1416 01:30:48,744 --> 01:30:50,143 How was that supposed to work? 1417 01:30:50,646 --> 01:30:53,046 I guess I never really thought it through. 1418 01:30:54,950 --> 01:30:57,214 I gotta tell you something personal! 1419 01:30:58,387 --> 01:30:59,979 This kid lost his marbles. 1420 01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:03,447 I'm over here! 1421 01:31:05,561 --> 01:31:08,394 Linda, think about what you're doing to us. 1422 01:31:10,966 --> 01:31:12,558 Sweet tackle. Wow! 1423 01:31:12,734 --> 01:31:14,668 Dave just got leveled! 1424 01:31:15,737 --> 01:31:19,332 - Nobody messes with my microphone. - I'm sorry. 1425 01:31:19,608 --> 01:31:20,939 Bob? 1426 01:31:22,077 --> 01:31:24,341 - Everything all right, Buddy? - Oh, yeah. 1427 01:31:24,513 --> 01:31:26,276 I've never seen you so excited. 1428 01:31:26,448 --> 01:31:29,212 It's not every day a man gets to propose marriage... 1429 01:31:29,384 --> 01:31:30,908 ...to the woman he loves. 1430 01:31:31,086 --> 01:31:33,919 Now, here's what I want you to write on the scoreboard. 1431 01:31:34,089 --> 01:31:37,923 Linda! Linda, I've loved you since the day I met you! 1432 01:31:38,093 --> 01:31:40,254 I won't let you do this to us! 1433 01:31:41,697 --> 01:31:43,562 Don't marry him! 1434 01:31:43,899 --> 01:31:45,366 Don't marry him! 1435 01:31:46,702 --> 01:31:48,499 Wait! 1436 01:31:49,338 --> 01:31:51,966 Let this man finish what he came here to say. 1437 01:31:52,875 --> 01:31:54,103 Let the man back in. 1438 01:31:54,276 --> 01:31:57,541 - Who was that guy? - I think it's Regis Philbin. 1439 01:32:00,082 --> 01:32:03,245 Thank you, Mayor Giuliani. You're the man, by the way. 1440 01:32:05,053 --> 01:32:07,988 This clown better hurry up. My arm's starting to ice over. 1441 01:32:08,156 --> 01:32:10,647 Chill, Rocket. Goosfraba. 1442 01:32:10,826 --> 01:32:12,191 Goosfraba. 1443 01:32:12,995 --> 01:32:14,929 Goosfraba. 1444 01:32:17,766 --> 01:32:21,600 I can understand why you wanted to see other people. I really can. 1445 01:32:21,970 --> 01:32:24,461 Buddy Rydell is a psycho! 1446 01:32:24,973 --> 01:32:27,305 But he was right about one thing. 1447 01:32:28,610 --> 01:32:30,601 I was an angry guy. 1448 01:32:31,146 --> 01:32:33,307 Mainly angry at myself... 1449 01:32:33,482 --> 01:32:36,542 ...for letting people treat me like crap all the time. 1450 01:32:36,985 --> 01:32:39,476 But I don't want to be that angry guy anymore. 1451 01:32:39,655 --> 01:32:41,054 I wanna change. 1452 01:32:41,390 --> 01:32:42,721 If you give me a chance... 1453 01:32:42,891 --> 01:32:46,725 ...I can show you that I got the guts to stand up for what I believe in. 1454 01:32:46,895 --> 01:32:48,487 And I believe in us, Linda. 1455 01:32:48,764 --> 01:32:52,928 I love you with all my heart, and I know you love me back. 1456 01:32:53,802 --> 01:32:55,463 I should be your husband... 1457 01:32:56,038 --> 01:32:57,801 ...not that weirdo. 1458 01:32:59,274 --> 01:33:04,109 I want to have a family with you. I want to have kids with you. 1459 01:33:04,279 --> 01:33:07,112 Kids who have your eyes... 1460 01:33:07,282 --> 01:33:08,681 ...and your lips... 1461 01:33:09,284 --> 01:33:10,615 ...and my... 1462 01:33:11,353 --> 01:33:13,480 ...last name. That's all I wish on them. 1463 01:33:15,657 --> 01:33:18,091 Please marry me, Linda. 1464 01:33:23,865 --> 01:33:27,301 Before I make my decision, you have to do something for me. 1465 01:33:31,006 --> 01:33:34,169 You have to kiss me in front of all these people! 1466 01:33:40,148 --> 01:33:42,048 You can do it, David! 1467 01:33:44,019 --> 01:33:46,214 Give her a five-second Frencher! 1468 01:33:50,125 --> 01:33:52,389 Kiss her, David. 1469 01:33:53,295 --> 01:33:54,990 Kiss her, David. 1470 01:33:56,898 --> 01:33:58,729 Kiss her, David! 1471 01:33:59,701 --> 01:34:01,794 Kiss her, David. 1472 01:34:09,378 --> 01:34:11,437 Go Yankees! 1473 01:34:28,797 --> 01:34:30,992 Dave's a dirty boy. 1474 01:34:33,168 --> 01:34:34,760 That wasn't so bad, was it? 1475 01:34:35,270 --> 01:34:39,639 I can't believe you actually started to fall for that crazy man. 1476 01:34:39,808 --> 01:34:42,174 Buddy's not such a bad guy. 1477 01:34:47,582 --> 01:34:50,779 Congratulations! You just graduated from anger management! 1478 01:35:13,475 --> 01:35:16,035 I'm glad your car died. The train's romantic. 1479 01:35:16,211 --> 01:35:17,735 Don't change the subject. 1480 01:35:17,913 --> 01:35:22,782 You're telling me the past two weeks of my life was just therapy? 1481 01:35:22,984 --> 01:35:24,212 Well.... 1482 01:35:24,619 --> 01:35:25,619 Yeah. 1483 01:35:25,954 --> 01:35:28,081 I met with Buddy after reading his book... 1484 01:35:28,256 --> 01:35:31,623 ...and I told him about some of the things going on in your life... 1485 01:35:31,827 --> 01:35:36,787 ...and how upset it was making you and how nuts it was making me. 1486 01:35:38,467 --> 01:35:41,732 He said that he thought he could help, but it would be tough. 1487 01:35:41,970 --> 01:35:43,961 So how much of this thing was a setup? 1488 01:35:44,206 --> 01:35:48,506 Well, the guy in your seat on the plane, the flight attendant, the judge... 1489 01:35:48,677 --> 01:35:50,668 ...they're all friends of Buddy's. 1490 01:35:50,846 --> 01:35:54,213 What about the air marshal who tasered me? Was he in on it? 1491 01:35:54,382 --> 01:35:56,213 No, he was just having a bad day. 1492 01:35:56,384 --> 01:35:58,978 Son of a bitch. 1493 01:36:10,699 --> 01:36:12,929 Skipper, how you doing? 1494 01:36:14,936 --> 01:36:17,996 Buddy Rydell, you're a great man. 1495 01:36:18,273 --> 01:36:21,640 I was just doing my job. I never doubted you for a minute. 1496 01:36:21,977 --> 01:36:24,343 Except when Galaxia had ahold of you. 1497 01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:28,580 Did you just call that guy Buddy Rydell? 1498 01:36:29,985 --> 01:36:32,818 A guy named Buddy Rydell left this card... 1499 01:36:32,988 --> 01:36:34,615 ...on what's left of my Lexus! 1500 01:36:34,790 --> 01:36:37,384 Oh, yeah. For insurance purposes. 1501 01:36:37,559 --> 01:36:39,493 Your insurance was canceled! 1502 01:36:41,830 --> 01:36:43,661 Grenada! 1503 01:36:44,499 --> 01:36:47,866 Don't point that gun at Buddy. I'm the one who smashed your car up. 1504 01:36:48,036 --> 01:36:49,162 - Dave?! - No! 1505 01:36:49,371 --> 01:36:50,963 I'm sick of guys like this. 1506 01:36:51,139 --> 01:36:53,471 You wanna mess with my friends, shoot me first. 1507 01:36:53,642 --> 01:36:54,870 - Don't! - Are you crazy? 1508 01:36:55,210 --> 01:36:56,370 Settle down. 1509 01:36:56,545 --> 01:36:59,207 Butt out! Tough guy's going to learn a lesson. 1510 01:37:00,549 --> 01:37:03,916 I'm not afraid. Dr. Rydell taught me not to be afraid of anybody. 1511 01:37:06,388 --> 01:37:08,549 Can I ask you a question, though? 1512 01:37:17,265 --> 01:37:18,892 Got you! 1513 01:37:22,904 --> 01:37:25,896 Dr. B, Davey just pulled a joke on us! 1514 01:37:26,107 --> 01:37:28,439 And how does that make you feel, Lou? 1515 01:37:40,589 --> 01:37:42,454 Chuck. 1516 01:37:42,624 --> 01:37:45,092 We were just doing a joke. That's my friend. 1517 01:37:45,293 --> 01:37:46,692 Are you okay? 1518 01:37:50,565 --> 01:37:53,033 He feels stunning.